Reviewed Paper: ntp1377741 – Sun Dec 12 13:30:50 EST 2021
Paper Title: Importance of immigration in chicago
No. of Pages: 3
Paper Style: MLA Paper Type: Other (please describe in your p
Taken English? Yes English as Second Language? Yes
Feedback Areas: Citations & References, Organization
Paper Goals: The following outline shows a basic format for most academic papers. No matter
what length the paper needs to be, it should still follow the format of having an
introduction, body, and conclusion. Read over what typically goes in each section
of the paper.
Review Summary:
Hello Chukwuemeka,
Thank you for submitting your descriptive essay to NetTutor. My name is Matt, and I enjoyed reading your essay about immigration in
Chicago.
Strengths:
Overall, good work on your essay so far. Your introduction provides background information on the topic and leads into a strong thesis
statement. Within the body paragraphs, you provide more evidence in support of your claims using information from outside sources.
Suggestions:
Work on adding more transitions to your essay. Transitional words and phrases can help improve the flow of your essay by connecting ideas
with each other. In particular, try adding transitions as you move between body paragraphs. For more help, refer to this site:
https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/general_writing/mechanics/transitions_and_transitional_devices/transitional_devices.html
You have some issues with awkward and unclear phrasing, word choice, and sentence structure throughout your essay. I underlined the
most noticeable issues and provided suggestions where possible. Try to rephrase in a clear, straightforward manner and try to use the best
word possible in all situations to improve understanding of your ideas.
The first instances of repeated issues are pointed out, and suggestions for corrections to be made are given where possible. Please use
your writing resources as well as the given suggestions for corrections to help make revisions and improve your writing. You can also return
to the Paper Center for additional reviews of your work.
Keep up the good work, and thanks for using NetTutor!
page 1 / 5
Reviewed Paper: ntp1377741 – Sun Dec 12 13:30:50 EST 2021
“you” or “your”?
Is Chicago a state? Clarify what state you mean.
What does this mean? Clarify your ideas.
You do not need a comma between author and page number.
Is “situating” the best word to use here? This works well for your thesis statement.
What is “it”? Clarify.
Check spelling of author’s name.
page 2 / 5
Reviewed Paper: ntp1377741 – Sun Dec 12 13:30:50 EST 2021
What kind of global recognition? Explain what you mean.
Explain what is meant by “health” competition.
What do you mean by top “chart”? Consider different word.
Add transition between paragraphs. What does this mean? Clarify your ideas.
Can you think of a more descriptive word to use than “huge”?
Is this the best word to use here?
page 3 / 5
Reviewed Paper: ntp1377741 – Sun Dec 12 13:30:50 EST 2021
What does this mean? Clarify your ideas.
Add a transition to shift to a new paragraph.
Who are “they”? Clarify.
What does this mean? Rephrase and clarify your ideas.
What is this word?
Included in what?
Who are “they”?
Explain what this means.
Explain what this means.
page 4 / 5
Reviewed Paper: ntp1377741 – Sun Dec 12 13:30:50 EST 2021
Italicize journal titles.
List URL to specific article here.
Where was this published? Include journal information.
Powered by TCPDF (www.tcpdf.org)
page 5 / 5