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EXCHANGE JULY/AUGUST 2017

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The Invisible Curriculum of Care by Carol Garboden Murray

“We sometimes speak as if caring did not require knowledge,

as if caring for someone, for example, were simply a matter of

good intentions or warm regard. But to care I must understand the other’s needs and I must be able to

respond properly to them, and clearly good intentions do not guarantee this. To care for someone,

I must know many things.”

— Milton Mayeroff

“I didn’t get a master’s degree to change diapers!”

Nicole, a speech therapist who I worked with for many years, taught me a great deal about language development. We worked with toddlers in an integrated program. Nicole was not the type of therapist who came into the classroom to do a ‘speech lesson’; instead, she worked alongside me and embedded therapy naturally into every activity.

Carol Garboden Murray has been

working with young children and families

for many years. She is a credentialed Early

Learning Trainer in New York State

(NYSAEYC), the director of Bard College

Nursery School, and the founder of the

Early Childhood Institute of the Hudson River Valley www.earlychildhoodhudsonriver.com/. Carol is currently writing a book about cultures of caring and the pedagogy of care.

While the children ate snacks, she ate with them and helped them learn to communicate using sign language, gestures, and words. We did therapy on the playground, and discovered the swings and slides were perfect tools for social pragmatic language. Nicole was my partner in just about every aspect of our work, except for diaper changes. When she was working with a toddler who had a dirty diaper, she would deliver the child to me. One day I said, “Nicole, it’s okay if you want to change diapers, too; the kids love you and trust you. Besides, it is an opportunity for reciprocal language and purposeful vocabulary.” Nicole turned to me, shook her head and said, “No thanks, I didn’t get a master’s degree in speech and language pathology to change diapers!”

Nicole’s comment got me thinking. When I got my degree, I did not foresee the amount of time I would spend in caring rituals either. It took me many years to see caring as the core of curriculum excellence. The deep assumption about caring is that it is something anyone can do, but we do not take care of human beings the same way we take care of a house or a lawn. In childhood, the sensations of the body are the pathways to the child’s intellect and emotions. Caring routines involve engagement around bodily functions

(elimination, cleaning, eating, sleeping) and therefore they hold the most inti mate importance. The way we touch children increases or diminishes their self-worth. Our care of children’s bodies is directly connected to the care of their minds.

The ‘Pedagogy of Care’ breaks down the false dichotomy that there is a difference between early education and care. In the past, caring tasks may have been viewed as custodial. In the emerging future, care is viewed as an honorable teaching prac tice that requires specialized knowledge

about human development.

The pedagogy of care is an applied science. Now more than ever, we possess the brain research that demon strates children are learning from the moment they are born and the most meaningful lessons are embedded in care. Nothing drives learning as powerfully as eye contact, touch, and voice — the essential elements in caring. Responsive care grows healthy brains. As Ron Lally tells us in For Our Babies, thanks to nonintrusive imaging, it is possible to watch the brain grow and we have evidence that brains are shaped by the quality of interactions children have with those who provide their early care.

As we view care through the lens of science, we continually evaluate our

www.ChildCareExchange.com CARING RITUALS 49 JULY/AUGUST 2017 EXCHANGE

practices to align with research. When

care isn’t viewed as education, it is common to rely upon personal child rearing experiences to shape caring practices, conversations around care can become emotionally charged because the way we care for children is laden with personal stories and cultural beliefs. For example, during discussions about meals and feeding I present the research of nutritionist, Ellyn Satter, who gives us extensive resources for feeding young children. Her Division of Responsibility Model calls into question some of the traditional ways of being with children at meals, such as praising children who eat everything on their plate, making picky eaters take just one bite, not allowing toddlers to play with their food, or withholding dessert from children who do not eat their vegetables first. Satter’s work emphasizes joy, competency, and trust, and it aligns with our educational philosophy that children are capable and whole, so it is a perfect example of the integration of early learning and caring rituals. I’ve found that when we describe care as educational and discuss it as a peda gogy, we elevate our practice beyond the confines of personal histories and embrace care as a new science.

Pedagogy of Care as an

Expressive Art

Early childhood teachers practice slowing down and creating respectful, intelligent care partnerships throughout the day. In daily rituals such as hand washing, serving meals, diapering babies, and zipping coats, we transform mundane tasks into educational prac tices that build relationships.

Several years ago at a training insti tute, I had an opportunity to mentor Tanya, a new teacher. My goal was to use video of her teaching as a reflection tool for naming dispositions, skills, and attitudes that are part of the hidden

Principles of Authentic Care for Early Education

Partnership: When we see the other as competent and capable, we practice caring as a conversation — a reciprocal exchange. Following one of Emmi Piker’s principles, we find ourselves doing things “with” children instead of doing them “to” children. Following the advice of Ron Lally, we engage in relationship planning rather than lesson planning.

Growth and Independence: We view care as a teaching practice that nurtures another’s development, actualization, and self-sufficiency. This is the opposite of caring in a way that creates helplessness, frustration, dependency, or entanglement. Within an educational framework, caring is associated with strength and power — not passivity or weakness. The other feels his or her wholeness in our caring response.

Science and Art: The practice of authentic care is both an applied science and an expressive art. Within the pedagogy of care, we name care as educational and we make it visible. Approaches are aligned with current research about child development and teachers express the art of care through their unique gifts and perspectives. Research also includes knowing the individual child well. Through defining care as a pedagogy, we name the tangible tools that are needed in care such as low sinks, lovely dishes, comfortable spaces, and natural light. We also name the teaching tools we cultivate that are essential, but often invisible: time, pace, touch, voice, tone, volume, and listening (among others).

A Curriculum of Care: We offer children opportunities to care for materials, small animals, plants, and one another. Children have opportunities to experience the joy of belonging and being known through care. Teaching the caring response has everything to do with learning to read social cues, develop empathy, and become emotionally intelligent. In her book, Starting at Home: Caring and Social Policy, Nel Noddings offers an interesting analogy. She describes how educators are trying hard to increase participation in mathematics and science for girls. The rationale is that women have been deprived opportunities by their lack of preparation in these subjects and it worries our society that women lag young men in skills that are so highly valued. She elaborates that it is unfortunate society does not seem to worry that young men lag behind women in caring — in preparation for nursing, early childhood education and parenting — because these traditionally female occupations are not highly valued. Noddings makes the point that men have “long been deprived of many of the joys that accompany everyday caring and have not been encouraged to develop the skills and attitudes that make life deeply satisfying.” She challenges us with the question, ‘How will we make caring attractive in our society?’

50 CARING RITUALS www.ChildCareExchange.com EXCHANGE JULY/AUGUST 2017

Photograph by Scott Bilstad

or implicit curriculum. I began by

reviewing a video of Tanya engaged in

lunch with a group of toddlers.

Tanya sat in the low chairs with the

children. The youngest child, who was

tired and clingy, sat on her lap to eat

while Tonya orchestrated lunch rituals

with the other four toddlers who were

happily eating. One boy spilled his

small glass of water and Tanya smiled

and calmly but swiftly retrieved a paper

towel to help him wipe the spill. He got

up from his seat and threw the towel in

the garbage. She balanced herself with a

child on her lap and she reached out to

assist the other toddlers as they served

noodles on their own plates. One child

played with her bracelet while he ate

an apple and in-between bites he asked

questions about the colorful gems she

wore. She responded by taking off the bracelet so he could look at it more closely and included the other toddlers in a conversation about colors.

When I reviewed the video with Tanya, she was at first embarrassed. She questioned why I had chosen lunch time as an opportunity to observe her teaching. She suggested I could have recorded the morning curriculum block — her sensory activity had been carefully planned. I explained that the lunch experience provided an excellent example of her teaching. I noticed her thoughtful organization, the materials she had prepared that she and the children could easily access, and the environment where children could “do it by themselves.” She revealed her belief in the children as competent and capable as she encouraged them use the utensils, and I observed her smart judg ment to at first withhold her assistance and then to step in with prompts at just the right time to scaffold the toddlers’ growing independence in an encour aging way.

The clip also showed her connection. I pointed out how she listened, asked

open-ended questions, and laughed with the children. We talked about the intel ligence of her hands and body language — knowing just when to gently touch or glance in response to the children’s needs. Upon hearing this evaluation, Tonya began to cry. She was moved to tears and explained that she had not realized how caring for children during lunchtime was part of the curriculum. Caring was so close to her, she couldn’t see it. It was the invisible curriculum, but naming it as educational gave it power and visibility.

How do we create the highest quality program possible by practicing the pedagogy of care? For a starting point, we can engage in a self-study by looking closely at transitions, meals, sleeping, toileting, and dressing routines and reflecting upon our practices through the lens of the Principles of Authentic Care (see box).

Resources and References

Pikler, Emmi (8 guiding principles) http://thepiklercollection.weebly.com/ pikler-principles.html

Lally, J. Ronald, Ed.D.

https://www.pitc.org/pub/pitc_docs/ home.csp

Curriculum and Lesson Planning: A Responsive Approach. © WestEd, The Program for Infant/Toddler Care.

Lally, J. R., Ed.D. (2013). For our babies: Ending the invisible neglect of America’s infants. New York: Teachers College Press, Columbia University. WestEd.org

Mayeroff, M. (1971). On caring. Harper Collins Publishers, 10 East 53rd Street, New York, NY 10002.

Nodding, N. (2002). Starting at home: Caring and social policy. Berkeley: Univer sity of California Press, Berkeley and Los Angeles, CA.

Satter, E., MS, RDN, MSSW

www.ellynsatterinstitute.org

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It Takes Two

The Role of Co-Regulation in Building Self-Regulation Skills

Linda Gillespie

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Two-month-old Daryl cries softly as he wakes up from his nap. Jodi, his teacher, calls to

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him, saying, “I hear you, Daryl. Miss Jodi is coming as soon as she washes her hands.” Daryl

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quiets.

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Four-month-old Charlotte rubs her eyes and begins to whimper. Her teacher, Jan, says,

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“You’re getting tired, aren’t you?” Jan sits in a rocker and begins to rock and hum to

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Charlotte. Charlotte calms, and Jan places her in her crib, gently patting her tummy before

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walking away. Charlotte fusses just for a minute before drifting of to sleep.

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Ten-month-old Bess is sitting with a shape sorter. She is concentrating and trying very hard

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to push the round shape into the square hole. Vivian, her family child care provider, sits

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nearby, tending to a crying baby. Bess looks at the baby, catches Vivian’s eye, then goes

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back to concentrating on the shape-sorting task. A few minutes later, Bess moves her shape

to the round hole and it falls in. Bess looks up and Vivian smiles: “You did it!” Bess smiles at

Vivian before picking up the next shape.

Thirty-month-old Shane has the toy camera, one of the children’s favorite toys in the

classroom. Kayla comes over and tries to take it out of his hands, and Shane pulls it away.

Liz, their teacher, squats down and says to Shane, “Remember when Kayla was playing with

that camera yesterday and you really wanted it? That’s how she feels now—she really wants

it. Will you give it to her when you are done playing with it?” Shane looks at his teacher, then

at the camera, and then at his friend Kayla. A few minutes later he takes the camera over to

Kayla. “Thank you, Shane, that was very kind of you,” Liz says.

Each of these adults is facilitating the

development of self-regulation, or the

“conscious control of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors” (McClelland & Tominey 2014, 2). Another way of thinking about self-regulation

is as a person’s ability to manage attention and emotions well enough to complete tasks, organize behavior, control impulses, and solve problems constructively (Murray et al. 2015). When children struggle with self regulation, it is difcult for them to sit still, concentrate, and participate in learning activities.

Each of the educators above is supporting self regulation skills by co-regulating with the children they care for. Co-regulation is defined as warm and responsive interactions that provide the support, coaching, and modeling children need to “understand, express, and modulate their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors” (Murray et al. 2015, 14). Co-regulating requires teachers and providers to pay close attention to the cues children send and respond consistently and sensitively over time with just the right amount

of support. Let’s take a closer look at these emerging self-regulation skills and how they are supported and nurtured from infancy onward.

In the beginning, very young children’s capacity for self-regulation is limited, and they are very dependent on their teachers for co-regulation. For those working with infants and toddlers, warm and responsive interactions are truly foundational for the development of self-regulation—as we see in the examples with Daryl and Charlotte. The teachers’ prompt and caring interactions support each baby’s ability to begin to self regulate and manage the tasks of waiting, self-soothing, and transitioning between activities. In these examples, Daryl is able to wait while Jodi finishes washing her hands, and Charlotte learns to soothe herself to fall asleep. Both babies have learned over time that their teachers will be there to ofer support, if and when they need it.

When children’s needs are met in this way, the children grow to learn that they can trust the adults in their world to care for them. Having the expectation

94 Young Children July 2015

that their needs will be met allows infants to relax their demands and begin to develop self-soothing skills, like sucking on their fingers or thumbs, twisting their hair, and so on. Learning to self-soothe is a trial-and-error process as babies test ways to calm themselves. They continue to need adult assistance with soothing and regulating, especially when in stressful situations, but their dependence on others for help lessens as they get older. Learning self regulation skills by experiencing tuned-in caregiving in early childhood is very important, as it is linked to greater success both academically and socially, through adulthood (Raby et al. 2015).

Children use their growing ability to self-regulate in more complex ways over time. Look at Bess as she concentrates on putting the shape into the correct hole. She is exercising the cognitive aspect of self-regulation as she directs her attention to the task at hand. Bess uses her relationship with Vivian as a secure base when the challenge of this task approaches frustration. She briefly turns her attention to Vivian for support and is then able to return to her task.

At 30 months, we see Shane beginning to demonstrate understanding of his friend Kayla’s feelings. The relationship with Liz and her nurturing support help Shane make the connection between his own feelings and those of his friend—which is the root of empathy. His teacher, Liz, has acted as a bridge to assist Shane in this developmentally challenging task. This type of social-emotional learning can happen only in a supportive, nurturing environment where children feel safe and valued and where their needs are met consistently.

Self-regulation is influenced by external factors like the environment and interactions with others and by internal factors such as temperament. The particular temperament children are born with impacts how easily they are able to regulate themselves. Children also exhibit diferences in emotional intensity—or how strongly they experience and express their feelings. We notice that children at very early ages respond diferently to stimuli such as light, noise, scent, touch, and temperature. Children also difer in their ability to manage change and transitions. These are just a few of the diferences among children that teachers may encounter. Each requires a calibrated response that matches the needs and temperament of the individual child. When teachers co-regulate, or tune their responses to the various needs of individual children, they support the skill of self-regulation in a group setting.

Here are some tips to promote self-regulation in very young children:

1. Create an environment where each child can form a long-term, trusting relationship with a teacher she knows well. Adopt a primary caregiving system in which each adult is responsible for a small number of children.

2. Provide responsive, consistent, and nurturing care. When you are responsive, you teach young children that their needs and preferences matter. When you are consistent, you teach young children they can trust others. When you are nurturing, you teach young children that relationships with others should feel comforting and joyful.

3. Promote critical thinking by creating an environment where children feel safe to explore and are comforted if they become confused or scared. “Positive control, autonomy support, and responsiveness have been most often linked to the development of strong self regulation skills in the research literature” (McClelland & Tominey 2014, 5).

4. Model your ability to self-regulate. As adults, we need to exercise our own self-regulatory skills to co-regulate with the children we care for. When we find ourselves feeling overwhelmed, angry, or burned out, we need to learn healthy ways to manage these strong feelings. When we feel calm and even-keeled, we do a better job of supporting the children in our care.

(continued on p. 96)

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Think about it

Q Reflect on your ability to regulate your own thinking and emotions. How does that ability change over the course of the day?

Q What might cause that ability to change?

Q Think about a time you noticed a baby’s or toddler’s cues. How did you use this as an opportunity to

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co-regulate?

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Try it

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Q Pay attention and respond to each child’s individual

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cues, and ask parents how they observe their

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children communicating needs.

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Q Talk to children during the daily routines and

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experiences of each day, and describe to them what

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you are doing and how they are responding.

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Q List some of the strategies you use to co-regulate

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with the children in your care, and share them with

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your colleagues or supervisor.

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Q Take the time to sensitively respond to the individual u

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children in your care. Doing so not only makes your job fascinating and rewarding, it also contributes to children’s learning the lifelong skill of self-regulation.

References

McClelland, M.M., & S.L. Tominey. 2014. The Development of Self-Regulation and Executive Function in Young Children. Washington, DC: ZERO TO THREE.

Murray, D.W., K. Rosanbalm, C. Chrisopoulos, & A. Hamoudi. 2015. Self-Regulation and Toxic Stress: Foundations for Understanding Self-Regulation From an Applied Developmental Perspective. OPRE Report #2015-21. Washington, DC: Ofce of Planning, Research and Evaluation, Administration for Children and Families, US Department of Health and Human Services.

Raby, K.L., G.I. Roisman, R.C. Fraley, & J.A. Simpson. 2015. “The Enduring Predictive Significance of Early Maternal Sensitivity: Social and Academic Competence Through Age 32 Years.” Child Development 86 (3): 695–708.

Individual chapters in this important book

Linda Gillespie, MS, of ZERO TO THREE, has worked in the field of early childhood with a specific focus on infants and toddlers for the past 40 years. [email protected]

Rocking & Rolling is written by infant and toddler specialists and contributed by ZERO TO THREE, a nonprofit organization working to promote the health and development of infants and toddlers by translating research and knowledge into a range of practical tools and resources for use by the adults who influence the lives of young children. The column appears in the March, July, and November issues of Young Children and is online at www.naeyc.org/yc/columns.

Copyright © 2015 by the National Association for the Education of Young Children. See Permissions and Reprints online at www.naeyc.org/yc/permissions.

focus on culture and language, family structures, gender identify, economic class, different abilities, holidays, and other topics related to social studies.

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96 Young Children July 2015

Fostering Attachment in the Child Care Setting for Infants and Toddlers

By Kristen Johnson, senior writer for Parents as Teachers National Center

For young children attachment is more than just a feeling; it’s a critical part of healthy development. “Attachment is a reciprocal relationship formed between a child and a care giver, most often a parent,” explains, Jane Kostelc early childhood specialist at Parents as Teachers National Center. “Although the expression of love is an important part, the most secure attachments form when the parent can accurately read the baby’s cues and meet the child’s needs. The child then responds with trust and interest.” Caring adults are essential to a baby’s or young child’s development, especially social-emotional development. Since many children spend much of their day in child care settings, it’s important for attachment relationships to include adults other than just parents. Children can love and become attached to more than one adult. Children thrive in environments that foster attachment through consistent and loving care. This is why child care providers, in addition to parents, are also encouraged to form attachments with the children in their care. Attachment Is Critical In The Early Years Feelings of attachment influence later social development and relationships. This primary relationship is the basis for all other relationships. It also lays the foundation for the development of self-concept and self-regulation. Babies have a natural ability to engage adults to fall in love with them. This is important because babies are born totally dependent on adult care. The way an adult responds to a child allows the child to develop feelings of trust and compassion. “When an adult responds to a baby’s coos, the child learns that he is important and lovable,” said Kostelc. “When he reaches for the buttons on the TV and an adult gently and consistently redirects him, he learns rules and expectations. Eventually this will lead to self-regulation of behavior.” Many problems or successes throughout childhood, adolescence and into adult life can be traced back to whether or not a child developed a secure attachment as a baby. A child who does not develop a secure attachment might show anger or aggression to adults and peers. He may be fearful and unable to venture away from adults. He may find it difficult to be comforted or to feel safe and not respond to warmth from adults. Factors That Promote Secure Attachment Since forming a strong attachment is so crucial, parents and care providers should be deliberate about ensuring a child has access to the types of care that encourage attachment. Here are some risk factors that threaten the development of a secure attachment: • Family circumstances – Lack of attachment is especially high in families where there is stress and instability such as job loss, failing marriage, financial difficulties and other stressors. All these circumstances can interfere with the sensitivity of parental care and response to the infant’s cues. • Unresponsive child care arrangements – An infant who spends a majority of the day with a care provider who gives physical care but doesn’t show warmth or quality in her responses might be at a disadvantage when it comes to successfully forming a secure attachment. Care providers must give more than just routine physical care. A care provider who is responsive and playful, cuddles and is affectionate demonstrates love that a child learns to reciprocate. Parents who work and are away from their children need to do research and evaluate where and with whom they place their children for a good portion of the day. They need to choose places where high-quality, responsive care is provided. • Multiple transitions – Young children can’t form healthy attachments if the adults in their lives move in and out too often. It takes time for care providers to learn the cues of the babies in their care; likewise, babies need to get to know and understand their care providers. This cannot happen if the baby has too many adults in his day or if he moves to a new classroom every few months. Early childhood researchers suggest that infants and toddlers spend their first three years in consistent care for secure attachment to develop. Child Care Can Support Healthy Attachment One way to curb these risk factors is for care providers to see the value in forming attachments with the children in their care. Care providers are encouraged to hold and cuddle babies tenderly. “If a certain baby tends to avoid hugs, the care provider can find other ways to provide healthy touches,” explains Jill Bailey, early childhood specialist at Parents as Teachers National Center.  “She might kiss the baby’s fingers, toes and tummy when diapering for example or use massage to soothe and calm a child. Care providers also need to create everyday routines to promote secure attachments. When possible, the same care provider should do routine things like change a child’s diaper.” Care providers are also encouraged to eat with the children, be emotionally available and do activities with the children in their care.   Children Can Love More Than One Adult Parents may need to be reassured that the love and attachment a child develops with a care provider will not replace his love for his parent. Having numerous opportunities to form a secure attachment will only benefit the child’s development. To help ease apprehension, parents and care providers can work together by sharing information and openly communicating. Parents should tell the care provider how the night went and care providers should share how the time spent apart from mom or dad went. Daily notes or other types of communication should go home with each infant and toddler everyday. Daily, short conversations, notes, a notebook for journaling back and forth, or phone calls are all ways care providers and parents can support each other and communicate with respect. Care providers can also support healthy attachment between parent and child by having a place for moms to breast feed and having a place for parents to sit and play with the child when dropping off or picking up after work. The above tips and a conscientious effort on the part of all care givers is a great start for increasing the likelihood for secure attachments to develop in infants and toddlers. Parents and care providers should, however; be aware that sometimes there are other underling factors that might prevent a child from forming a secure attachment with adults. These reasons can be the result of medical or developmental conditions. If parents or care providers are concerned that something might be wrong they are encouraged to talk with a healthcare provider or seek out advice from parenting programs like Parents as Teachers.

For more information on Parents as Teachers, early childhood development or to find a Parents as Teachers program in your area, visit www.ParentsAsTeachers.org.
 

Respecting Infants & Toddlers: Strategies for Best Practice

By Terri Jo Swim, Ph.D

Respect. What does this term mean for infant and toddler teachers? Can or should this word be used to describe teachers’ behaviors when interacting with very young children? Before such questions can be answered, a definition of respect must be established. Use the following prompts to assist with thinking about your definition of respect.

Stop and Ponder: Take a moment to write down your personal definition of respect.

Reflect: 1) Circle the features that are vital to your definition (i.e., these aspects could not be removed without greatly altering your definition), and 2) Identify features that seem less important to your definition. Cross them out. What remains? Review your new definition. Does it more succinctly reflect your beliefs?

Now, compare your definition with the one found in the American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language (2000):

• To feel or show differential regard for
• To avoid violation of or interference with
• The state of being regarded with honor or esteem
• Willingness to show consideration or appreciation

Although the dictionary definition may initially seem clear-cut, its application to teachers of infants and toddlers is not immediately apparent. Is it respectful, for example, for a teacher to pick up an infant without preparing the child for the move? Is it respectful of a toddler to encourage her to make decisions? Is it respectful of an infant teacher to secure interesting posters to the wall for the children to look at? Is it respectful of a teacher to teach toddlers how to interact with one another? Your definition, more than likely, already connects closely to your behavior. This article will present examples of how we can translate the formal definition of respect into useful examples of behaviors with young children.

Demonstrating Respect
If we declare respect an educational value (Rinaldi, 2001), then we need to consider both personal and professional basis for this decision. As an individual, your beliefs are impacted by current and past experiences, such as how you are regarded by your supervisor or coworkers and how you were treated in your family of origin or in educational settings. Both positive and negative experiences give shape and form to your belief system. The early childhood profession clearly desires to minimize negative influences and maximize positive ones. Hence, guidelines for best practice clearly articulate respect as the basis for appropriate interactions with very young children and families (Bredekamp & Copple, 1997; Gonzelez-Mena & Eyer, 2001; Herr & Swim, 2002; Lally et al, 1995; NAEYC, 1998; Swim and Muza, 1999). Demonstrating respect is not just about feeling good; for young children, it is about adults acting intentionally to promote optimal development and learning. As Herr and Swim (2003) state, “Respect must be demonstrated in your behaviors. More importantly, respect for infants and toddlers must be something that emanates from inside of you. You have to believe that infants and toddlers are worthy of your time and attention as individuals, because a respectful relationship is vital to all aspects of child development” (p. 9).

As individuals and as a profession, our understanding of respect has been expanded by the work and writing of educators in Reggio Emilia, Italy (see, for example, Edwards, Gandini, & Foreman, 1998). They believe that children must be viewed as having rights, rather than simply needs (Ghedini, 2001; Malaguzzi, 1993; Rinaldi, 1998). If we concur that one of our basic human rights is to be respected and treated in a respectful manner, then we have to begin at birth building a strong foundation for the development of respect. What better way to teach respect than to intentionally demonstrate it during your work (e.g., when planning environments and experiences or when interacting) with young children?

“To Avoid Interfering With” Allow Time
When adults allow time for children to try and/or to complete a task before providing assistance or necessary intervention, they are demonstrating respect. Infants and toddlers are reveling in their newly acquired skills. However, mastery only comes with repeated opportunities for practice. In addition to providing time for mastery, teachers must purposely monitor the type and degree of support provided. In order to know how best to respond, adults must be intimately familiar with the needs, interests, and abilities of the infants and toddlers in their care (Bredekamp & Copple, 1997; Lally et al, 1995; Swim & Muza, 1999). For some children, it may be sufficient to provide a verbal explanation or question while other children may require physical assistance. Watch, however, that you do not rely on one approach too much. All children need a balance of responses so that they can perfect skills and view themselves as capable.

Consider this scene:
A toddler walks out of the bathroom with water dripping from his hands. The teacher asks the toddler, “Did you get your hands dried?” The toddler stops and looks at his hands. He shakes his head “no.” The teacher asks, “Do you need me to get you another paper towel or can you get it yourself?” The toddler smiles at her and returns to the bathroom.

Encourage Children to Make Choices
Another way to think about “refraining from interfering with” is to allow young children to make choices or decisions. This aspect includes not only the explicit choices you provide throughout a day, but also the choices children make independently. Children, especially toddlers, need to be provided choices to help them feel in control of their environment (Marion, 2003). Additionally, when you accept an idea that a toddler has generated independently you are sending the message that she has worthy ideas.

Consider this scene:
Jacki, a family child care provider, is caring for 5 children on a warm, but drizzly, summer afternoon. One child is asleep, one is upset so Jacki is walking with her, and the other three are engaged in quiet activities. Miranda, a toddler, is looking out the window and decides she wants to go outside and “stomp in puddle.” Jacki considers the mess it might make, but

then remembers the fun she had jumping in puddles. She considers the potential hazards (e.g., lightening) and sets some clear limits for Miranda’s behavior. Miranda races outside, jumps in the first puddle she comes to, and turns to look back at Jacki in the window, clearly proud that she made such a good decision to go outside!

Value Individual Styles
We can also demonstrate respect by valuing individual children’s ways of doing and being. Not all children are vivacious and outgoing, for example. Some children like to observe from a distance before joining others in play. Letting them observe and join in the play when they are ready shows that you respect their style of initiating interactions. Moreover, children, like adults, have special routines or unique ways of doing things. Close observation and documentation on your part, coupled with frequent, open communication with families, will help you to understand each child’s unique characteristics and know how to respond respectfully to these characteristics.

Consider this scene:
Hector and Miguel are two children in a mixed-age classroom (birth – 3 years) in a full-day child care program. They are both on the rug building independent structures with unit blocks. Simone crawls over to the edge of the carpet and watches them. She touches a block and babbles. “Simone,” the teacher says, “you are watching them build.” Simone looks at him, babbles again, and begins to crawl towards the mirror handing on the wall.

“To Regard with Honor or Esteem” Create Meaningful Environments
We show children that they are worthy as individuals and deserving of high regard when we create environments and experiences that are meaningful. A key component of best practices is providing age-appropriate, individual, and culturally appropriate experiences that have intellectual integrity (Bredekamp & Copple, 1997). In other words, the children are engaged in experiences that are relevant to their lives and lead to greater understanding of the world and their places in it. One way to deepen understanding is to engage in on-going investigations with young children (Helm & Beneke, 2003; Helm & Katz, 2001; Katz & Chard, 1989). Projects to help the children “see the extraordinary in the ordinary” (Gandini, January 27, 2001, personal communication) are particularly engaging for older toddlers. In other words, you do not have to create projects on “novel” topics. Listen to the children with your eyes and ears. What are they doing? What interests them? What do they babble or talk about? Use this information to plan experiences and investigations that support and enhance all areas of development.

Consider this scene with infants:
Tanya cares for two infants in her home. She has created special spots for them to gather and talk about families. Although they are different ages, Diego and Nerida are both experiencing separation anxiety. They are visibly distressed when their family members leave and take several minutes to calm down. Tanya laminated and displayed at the children’s eye level several pictures of both children’s family members so that she could converse with the infants throughout the day about those they miss. She also uses those photographs to talk about similarities and differences between Diego’s and Nerida’s families.

Consider this scene with toddlers:
Josy notices that Maya and Peter want to help when she sweeps the floor after lunch. She wonders if they would be interested in investigating brooms. She places a variety of brooms with different functions around the inside and outside environments. For example, she places a feather duster in the dramatic play area that is set up as a home. Beside the sensory table filled with dirt, she places a dust broom and pan. Outside, she leaves a push broom next to the building that is adjacent to the tricycle path.

Before the children arrive, she hypothesizes about how the children will use the brooms and questions she can ask. She predicts that the children will notice the differences among the brooms and so she will ask questions about how the design (e.g., shape, size) of the broom influences its function. She is also interested in provoking thinking about how two children can use one broom at the same time. Maybe later in the week or next week they can consider how to modify a broom for two people. Josy considers different ways to have the children communicate their understanding about brooms and, therefore, has available pencils, fine- and felt-tipped pens, white paper, and clay.

Teach Interaction Skills
Young children are inherently social. They interact with others long before they are verbal or can physically move to be in close proximity to others. Infants possess many strategies, such as cooing or smiling, for getting others to attend to them. Even with this high level of social interest and strategies for gaining attention, infants and toddlers lack other necessary skills (e.g., perspective-taking, problem-solving, and emotional regulation) to be successful when interacting with each other. Responsible adults perform most of an infant’s or toddler’s ego functions (e.g., reminding the child about appropriate behavior), thereby regulating the young child’s social interactions for her (Marion, 2003). Thus, these adults do not expect very young children to be able to interact successfully with others. They realistically anticipate devoting significant amounts of time each day to helping children interact with one another and employ several strategies for this purpose. To illustrate, adults can read the nonverbal communication cues for children, describe appropriate behavior, and then allow time for interaction while maintaining close supervision.

Consider this scene:
Three infants are sitting in bouncy seats in a carpeted area. While positioning the seats so that all of the infants can see one another, the adult comments that, “It’s time to talk to our friends.” Skye begins to babble and looks at the adult. The adult says, “Yes, you are excited to see Rashid. He wasn’t here yesterday.” The adult leaves, providing time and space for the infants to interact with one another.

Listen to the Children
We communicate respect for young children when we listen to their ideas, feelings, and dreams. Listening to children who possess language is considerably easier than listening to preverbal children. Yet, as caregivers of infants and toddlers, we have to engage in the struggle to decide, “What is she trying to communicate with crying?” or “What does he want when he points towards the door?” When we listen to the children and respond accordingly, it communicates that they and their ideas are important. Utilizing their ideas when planning curriculum not only recognizes the different potential of each child, but also reflects guidelines for developmentally appropriate practices. This also supports the notion that “All children have the potential, albeit in different ways, to learn and to develop their own ideas, theories, and strategies. All children also have the right to be supported in these endeavors by adults. Teachers and parents, therefore, should observe and listen to them” (Gandini & Goldhaber, 2001, p. 125).

Consider this scene:
Evelyn is standing at the Bye, Bye Window (Herr & Swim, 2003) watching her grandfather walk away from the building. Her fists are clenched and tears are streaming down her cheeks. The adult sits quietly beside her before saying, “You are mad that Granddad left. You wanted to leave with him.” Evelyn leans against the adult and continues to cry. The adult comforts her by stating, “Granddad was sad to leave you also. He had fun playing peek-a-boo with you. But Granddad has to go to work. He’ll be back after afternoon snack.”

Conclusion
Now that several examples of respectful interactions have been provided, it is time to take a moment to reflect on your interactions with young children.

Stop and Ponder: How do you show respect to the infants and toddlers in your care? What behaviors support your beliefs? What behaviors conflict with your beliefs? Say, for a moment, that a parent was observing your work with young children. How would she know that you respect young children?

It may, at first, seem hard to demonstrate respect to infants and toddlers because we are unaccustomed to thinking about very young children in this manner. In fact, it may seem easier to demonstrate respect to infants rather than toddlers. Toddlers are experiencing a developmental “tug of war” between the desire to do tasks independently and the necessity to depend on others to meet their needs. This milestone places significant stress on toddlers and adults. However, we cannot lose sight of the fact that respect is a key component in best practices and for meeting the developmental needs of infants and toddlers. This article, hopefully, has provided concrete examples of how to apply the abstract definition of respect when working with infants and toddlers.

Terri Jo Swim, Ph.D., is an Assistant Professor of early childhood education and child development at Indiana University Purdue University Fort Wayne (IPFW) in Fort Wayne, IN. She teaches in undergraduate and graduate programs. Her research interests include infant-toddler and preschool curriculum, Reggio Emilia, and teacher education. This article is based on a keynote presentation on February 8, 2003, at the Infant-Toddler Institute sponsored by the Akron Area Association for the Education of Young Children.

References
American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language. (2000, 4th ed.). Houghton Mifflin Company. Accessed on the world wide web at www.yourdictionary.com/ahd/r/r0180400.htm on February 26, 2003.

Edwards, Carolyn, Gandini, Lella, & Forman, George. (Eds., 1998). The hundred languages of children: The Reggio Emilia approach – Advance reflections (2nd ed.). Westport, CT: Ablex Publishing.

Gandini, L., & Goldhaber, J. (2001). Two reflections about documentation. In L. Gandini & C. Pope Edwards (2001). Bambini: The Italian approach to infant/toddler care. NY: Teachers College Press.