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1 Nonverbal Communication Origins
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Learning Objectives
After reading this chapter you will be able to do the following:
•
•
•
•
Explain types of nonverbal primacy
Compare models of communication
Define nonverbal communication
Understand the impact of channel on messaging
Mika wasn’t thrilled about attending a friend’s start-of-semester get-together, but his new
roommate dragged him along to the location a few blocks from campus. Mika didn’t know most
of the attendees and wasn’t particularly motivated to meet someone new, so he spent a lot of time
looking at memes on his mobile device or pretending to take a few phone calls. After someone
spilled a drink on his shoes for what must have been the third time, Mika decided to call it a
night and head home. Just as he was headed toward the door, he locked eyes with the most
attractive person he had ever seen. After feeling frozen for what seemed like an eternity, he
nodded his head and gave a shy smile right as the other person started to turn away. Resigned to
leave again, he suddenly saw a smile in response out of the corner of his eye. Mika decided to
stick around and give the evening another chance as he switched his phone to airplane mode and
ran his fingers through his hair.
From the first impressions that we form about one another to the lifelong social interactions that
shape and guide our lives, communication is the primary social process. Without
communication, it would prove nearly impossible to navigate our daily lives. Communication
allows us to signal a variety of things to one another, from letting our caregivers know we are
hungry to warning each other about dangerous predators.1 Indeed, most living creatures engage
in some form of communication, from the ants marking a trail toward a picnic basket, to the
pride of lions using a sophisticated group hunting strategy to avoid starvation. Communication
allows groups of creatures—both human and nonhuman—to navigate a complex environment
that otherwise may be difficult to survive on one’s own.2 Human communication includes the
most complicated forms of messaging, as humans use systems of established rule-driven
strategies to send messages among themselves for a variety of reasons. Just as we read in the
story of Mika above, messaging can be subtle; from indicating interest to avoiding interaction, a
variety of verbal and nonverbal messages help us to move throughout our social world.
Guiding Questions
What kinds of messages help form a first impression in a context like the one above?
How do nonverbal signals impact our social experiences?
Models of Communication
When considering how humans send messages to one another, it is first helpful to ensure that
everyone has a similar shared understanding of the basic models of communication. In order to
establish a shared vocabulary about the process of communication, we begin with the linear
model of communication, which focuses on the transmission of messages to an audience. Then,
we will expand that model to include a more transactional understanding of human interaction.
Linear Model of Communication
Over 70 years ago, scholars Shannon and Weaver came up with a model of communication
messaging that is still one of the most widely known models of communication today.3 As can be
seen in Figure 1.1, this linear model of communication focuses on the transmission of a verbal
or nonverbal message to another person or persons. Because of that focus on one-way
transmissions, the linear model starts with the person who originates the message, called
the sender. The sender begins the process of encoding, converting his or her thoughts into a
specific message that he or she hopes an audience will understand. By sending that message
through one or more channels, or ways of transmitting a message like a phone call or a written
document or even a gesture, he or she can convey that message directly to the target person, also
known as the receiver. Once the receiver has heard or seen the message, he or she then
begins decoding the meaning from the message and trying to understand the intent of the sender.
When Cheance receives a text “Starving! Must eat now LOL” from her new girlfriend Annabelle,
as the receiver she needs to decode the message in an attempt to try to understand what
Annabelle’s intent was; are they canceling their later reservation and eating separately on their
own, or are they getting together earlier than they had previously planned?
Description
Figure 1.1 Linear Model of Communication
Although perhaps not a comprehensive model thus far, we now have a working set of vocabulary
terms about messaging, as well as a basic understanding of how people send messages to one
another. Still, the Shannon and Weaver model goes a couple steps further than this general
approach, including in the model the concepts of context and noise. Context is defined as the
setting in which communication occurs, not only the physical location but also the time and
social situation wherein messaging happens. This context influences both the creation and the
transmission of a message for a variety of reasons (i.e., influencing the sender’s mood and even
restricting the channels that they find available to them.) For example, Evan may be interested in
sending a particularly funny meme to his best friend when he’s in church on Sunday morning,
but may not do so, in part because of the emotional experience that he’s having or because of his
inability to get to his cell phone without offending the other congregants around him. As such,
that funny text may have to wait until later that day. That being said, if he looks across his
church congregation and sees Ryan in another pew, he might find himself making a funny face
or at least trying to catch his best friend’s eye, despite being situated in a context that would
suggest other more reverent behaviors. The concept of noise, on the other hand, describes any
barrier to hearing or understanding that detracts from the successful transmission of a
message.4 Noise might be as simple as a physical sound that stops you from perceiving a
message (e.g., physical noise), to a mental state that distracts someone from correctly
understanding a message (e.g., psychological noise). In addition, noise could also be a receiver’s
physical state like hunger or sleepiness that interrupt his or her ability to decode a message
(e.g., physiological noise), or even may include a situation where individuals don’t understand
these symbols that are being used in the message due to specific words or pronunciations
(semantic noise). The more noise present in a communication context, the more difficult it will
be for a receiver to successfully decode the message that a sender has encoded. Take a look at an
example of one possible effect of noise in this chapter’s Apply feature, next.
iStock.com/FatCamera
Box 1.1 Apply
Impacts of Noise on a Homecoming Conversation
Clarice and Sarah had been fighting for a long time. Not only had their mutual friends noticed the lack of respect
that they had shown to one another at a variety of social events over the past year, but they often commented upon
the disrespectful eye rolls and sighs that each exhibited when the other walked into the room or tried to join the
conversation. Finally, Clarice decided that “enough was enough.” At the homecoming football game, Clarice finally
decided that she and Sarah needed to have a conversation to talk over their issues with one another. Right before the
halftime show on their way to order food, Clarice dragged Sarah away from their mutual group of friends over to a
patch of grass away from the snack bar. She started a long monologue about their friendship and how they used to
be close, taking responsibility for her own contribution to the deterioration of their relationship. As they both sat
side by side watching the marching band on the field, Clarice suddenly realized that Sarah didn’t even know that
Clarice was talking. With all the distractions on the field, combined with the sounds and the sights of the
homecoming festivities, Sarah was just enjoying the evening breeze, oblivious to the relational goals of Clarice.
Discouraged, Clarice decided to stop talking and watch the halftime show herself, vowing to maybe try again some
other time if she ever got an opportunity.
Even with the most detailed messaging plan, features of the context or of the relationship can impact our
communication attempts. The ability of one person to effectively understand the message of another person is
influenced by a variety of factors.
APPLY: Consider the features of the context in which Clarice and Sarah just interacted. What were all the
individual types of noise that impacted the quality of this communication situation? What should Clarice try to avoid
the next time that she wants to try to reach out to Sarah? How have you had noise disrupt your own attempts as
messaging?
Transactional Model of Communication
The linear model of communication is a relatively decent way to think about how one person
might send a message to someone else. That being said, most communication is perhaps not
quite as one sided as this model may suggest. In most situations, people are sending messages at
the same time to each other, with each person serving as both a sender and a receiver of
messages throughout the interaction. The transactional model of communication better
captures our understanding of that back-and-forth between people, as seen in Figure 1.2.5 In this
model, we are able to add in the concept of feedback, which is the verbal and nonverbal
responses that someone gives in reaction to a message that they are receiving—a set of responses
that influence future messaging. When Brooke and Adam were discussing restaurants in trying to
decide where to have dinner, Adam’s funny facial expressions helped her adapt her messaging
on the fly; Adam’s happy or sad faces each time that she suggested a different cuisine type or
location helped her eventually decide that they should order some pizza and chill on the couch
with a good movie.
Description
Figure 1.2 Transactional Model of Communication
Besides the addition of feedback, you’ll notice that the transactional model of communication
also goes beyond simple unidirectional messaging, or one-way messaging in which people take
turns alternating between sender or receiver. Instead, this model highlights that people take on
roles as both sender and receiver at the same time (e.g., transactional messaging), with
messages and feedback being sent and received simultaneously throughout most communication
interactions. When Derek got back from a campus retreat having decided that he wanted to
pursue a calling to become a priest, he knew that it would involve some difficult conversations
with people he cared about—most of all, his girlfriend Jae-Min. In the conversation, he tried to
explain his reasons for breaking up with her, while at the same time expressing his love for her
and managing the fact that he was causing her quite a bit of pain. For her own experience, JaeMin was working hard to manage her own emotions about losing Derek, while also trying to
keep alive the spark of hope that Derek seemed to express about his new ambitions. Both Derek
and Jae-Min sent verbal and nonverbal messages to one another, from their discussions of hope
to their smiles, anger, and tears. As they have difficult conversations like these, couples are often
able to manage and adapt their messaging to one another. The tone and manner of these
messages can strongly impact how people interpret both nonverbal and verbal messages, as
evidenced in the popular media highlighted in this chapter’s Absorb feature.
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Box 1.2 Absorb
Sarcasm on Popular Media
Jimmy Fallon is known for his character Sara on The Tonight Show’s popular recurring bit, “Ew!” In the clip below,
Sara’s friend Addison (played by John Cena) drops by after a long absence, and the two friends reminisce and catch
up about life.
“‘Ew!’ with John Cena” from The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon. March 8, 2018. Running Time: 5:23. Available
on YouTube.
Although ridiculous at times, the clip shows some great examples of how tone of voice and context can help clarify
the meaning behind otherwise ambiguous phrases. Both Sara and Addison say the word “Ew!” quite frequently
throughout the clip. A casual observer might first think that both Sara and Addison are exclaiming that everything is
gross or disgusting, but after a while it becomes clear that Sara doesn’t always have a negative view of everything
that she says “Ew!” about.
ABSORB: How much does the meaning change for the word “Ew!” throughout the video clip? How many different
meanings can you discover for the word as you watch the video? What are the different cues that you rely on to
determine what Sara actually means, each time that she exclaims her trademark phrase?
Defining Nonverbal Communication
The words that we use are very important. Indeed, the verbal content of the message (e.g.,
the verbal communication) can have critical impact on the people, places, and things with
which we interact or engage. From a student ordering a burrito exactly how she wants, to an FBI
agent negotiating a hostage situation, it is important to make sure the words that we use convey
the messages that we hope they convey. At the same time, much of what we don’t say is just as
important; our gestures, facial expressions, tone of voice, and eye contact (among others) can all
have a strong impact within an environment. In our example from the opening of the chapter,
Mika didn’t say a single word yet he knew that he had a chance to get to know an attractive
party-goer, based on a series of unspoken messages. Those messages are considered nonverbal
because they do not use language to convey meaning.
Recently, nonverbal communication has been defined as “any communicative characteristic or
behavior that intentionally or unintentionally conveys a message without the use of verbal
language.”6 In this case, verbal language would include words or behaviors that directly stand for
a specific word or words. For example, consider the offensive gesture of extending one’s middle
finger in the direction of another person. Most everyone within the larger North American
culture has a clear understanding of what specific words go alongside such a gesture, even
though they aren’t reproduced here. Even though tone and context can change our understanding
of what was ultimately intended by using such a gesture (e.g., giving someone a
wink while flipping them “the bird” may imply humor and friendship rather than animosity) the
gesture itself is considered formal language (and is therefore verbal communication).
Another important point contained in the definition of nonverbal communication highlights the
idea that nonverbal communication can be either intentional or unintentional, as shown in this
chapter’s Inspire feature. This is quite significant, because we are not always aware of our
communicative behaviors when we send a message, oftentimes messaging others even when we
don’t intend to be doing so.7 Carl and Alysa were hanging out after class at the local campus
coffee shop. When Alysa offered to pay for Carl’s iced caramel macchiato, she had no idea that
her shy smile was interpreted by Carl to be a form of flirting. At the end of the interaction, Alysa
thought she had made a new platonic friend, while Carl had already begun picturing future
romantic getaways together.
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Box 1.3 Examine
The Ethics of Unintentional Communication
Have you ever accidentally hit reply-all to an e-mail when you meant to send a private message to just one person?
Or have you responded to a text on a group chat when you meant to send a personal message to a friend?
Sometimes, our messages reach a wider audience than we had originally intended.
That same type of accidental messaging occurs with nonverbal communication, but perhaps to an even greater
extent. Maybe a crush was able to notice your blush at their accidental eye contact, or a parent saw the way you
rolled their eyes when they didn’t understand a technology that seems so simple to every single one of your peers.
These messages can have a similar impact as those verbal messages at the start of this box. People may just as easily
take note of the nonverbal messages that you hoped would never be seen.
Enrique loves his wife Kayla, and holds her in the highest regard. However, last week he caught Kayla looking out
the window at their neighbor Jake as he was doing some yard work shirtless. When Enrique called her out on it,
Kayla joked that he shouldn’t care if she ogled the neighbor, as he was too young for her anyway. Enrique noticed
that she was trying to laugh it off, but she couldn’t stop herself from blushing at being caught in her daydreams.
INSPIRE: What should people do when confronted with an unintended message? Do you think that you should be
held responsible if one of your unintended nonverbal cues cause someone else to do something that gets them in
trouble or hurts a relationship? We may want others to give us the benefit of the doubt when we express our feelings
unintentionally through nonverbal cues; are we willing to do the same for those around us?
Why Isn’t ASL Considered Nonverbal?
One common misconception about a class in nonverbal communication is that it is going to be a
sign language class. Interestingly, sign languages in general—and American Sign Language
(ASL) specifically—are actually considered verbal forms of communication.8 ASL is a system of
language that is communicated through gesture. Even though no words are audibly spoken, hand
gestures and facial expressions combine to send specific and discrete language-based messages.
Not all verbal messages are necessarily vocal/auditory messages, as we can use verbal
communication to visually send messages through the written word or through the interpretation
of specific gestures used in sign language. These signs are considered verbal communication
because each sign has a direct verbal meaning attached to the sign, one that is codified and made
formal much in the same way that languages are formed and acquired throughout a culture.
Indeed, when Sarah, who is deaf, tries to order food at a restaurant without using vocal sounds,
she may try to point to items on the menu or mime certain types of food. If she is fortunate
enough to find a restaurant that employs a server that uses ASL, she can simply sign the items
that she wants, using for example the sign for taco—a chop of the blade of one hand into the
folded palm of the other.
Nonverbal Communication Primacy
One of the key reasons why nonverbal communication is so important to human interaction is
that it has represented many important firsts for individuals, for interpersonal interactions, and
even for the species as a whole. For this reason, we often describe nonverbal communication as
having primacy.9 We typically pay attention to nonverbal messages first and foremost in an
interaction. Juanito and Marieta are celebrating their fifth anniversary as a couple. After a great
dinner and evening of salsa dancing, Juanito pulled a gift out of his jacket pocket, and presented
it with a great flourish. Marieta’s eyes lit up, and she smiled coyly as she said, “I thought we
decided not to give each other gifts this year! You’re terrible.” After opening the envelope and
discovering two tickets to a show by her favorite musician, Marieta squealed and gave Juanito a
kiss squarely on the lips. “I can’t believe you did this, you monster!” she whispered, drawing
him in for another kiss. Even though all of Marieta’s words should have made Juanito think his
gift was unwelcome, he knew he had made the right decision because he was paying attention to
her nonverbal behaviors. The surprise and delight on her face, coupled with some passionate
kissing for good measure, made it clear that Juanito had made this an anniversary to remember.
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Primacy of Species
Over the course of human history, researchers have discovered that humans’ early ancestors were
not able to use verbal language.10 In fact, verbal language likely began with homo sapiens,
although some scholars have noted that bone structures in Neanderthal may have allowed for
complex sound to be vocalized.11 However, primates of all sorts are able to live in community
and share the division of labor, including caring for children and sharing food that has been
hunted or gathered. How did such interactions occur if verbal language wasn’t a part of the lives
of our early ancestors? Nonverbal communication like grunts or slight vocalizations were likely
the early auditory forms of communication, and facial expressions or gestures may have been
able to indicate important things like danger or submission or even the presence of spoiled meat.
The idea that nonverbal communication came first over the course of our species’ evolution is
known as phylogenetic primacy, highlighting that our nonhuman ancestors had likely figured
out social signaling before humans existed in our current form.
Primacy of Individual
Not only is nonverbal communication the earliest type of communication for our species, but
also it’s the earliest form of communication for each individual member of our species across the
lifespan. The idea that nonverbal communication comes before any other form of communication
in each individual experience is known as ontogenetic primacy. It’s a pretty complicated phrase
to describe a very simple concept: from the moment of birth, infants have to communicate with
other humans nonverbally because they haven’t yet acquired a verbal language system.12 Starting
with those early moments of life, most infants can communicate their needs through crying and
receive help from a caretaker in return. These infants receive love and affection without
understanding or using formal language, and they are still able to communicate basic emotions
(like contentedness) during those early interactions. Even the earliest experience of nursing
allows for nonverbal communication to occur far before a verbal language system is required.
For example, consider a child crying to indicate hunger to his mother. Assuming that child is
being breast-fed, the mother will pick up the child and hold to her chest, the two will make eye
contact, and then even the grasping and kneading behaviors of the child are an early form of
touch expression. Think about that one interaction and all that it entails: sound, touching, being
touched, eye contact, and other forms of auditory communication and affection. Indeed, small
children are often given positive affirmations for those early attempts at communicating despite
not having learned a formal language.
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To be sure, the vast majority of children do eventually develop a verbal communication
system.13 From learning what to ask for—or in some cases what to demand—children quickly
learn that verbal language allows for greater specificity in achieving their goals. That being said,
most young parents will acknowledge the greater urgency that is conveyed by nonverbal forms
of expression like crying or a tantrum. Why does ontogenetic primacy matter within the human
experience? It is, at its most basic, each person’s earliest form of communication in their own
lifespan. Whether you had a good upbringing or an unhappy early life, nonverbal communication
is the way that you communicated throughout those earliest interactions.
Primacy of Interaction
Our ancestors used nonverbal messaging to communicate long before modern humans were
around, and each individual human on this planet has explored their social world through
nonverbal messaging long before any understanding of a verbal language system is developed. In
addition to those forms of primacy, each time we interact with someone we exhibit a common
form of primacy as we pay attention to their nonverbal behaviors before we consider any words
that they might be using. This type of primacy is known as interactional primacy, and it
highlights that our first impressions are often based on nonverbal characteristics and behaviors of
another person. Consider the first day of an in-person class, perhaps your favorite class from
high school (or even the class that you are in right now). From the moment your instructor
walked into the room, you began to make decisions about them based solely upon the way they
looked or acted, and also based on how it seemed that they treated the people around
them.14, 15 Did you think they were going to be a difficult teacher, or relatively simple? Did they
seem easy-going or harsh and severe? Did you think that the instructor was going to be a good
one, or were you worried that it might be smarter to enroll in a section with a different
instructor? Is the instructor likely to be funny, to be cranky, or to be serious? You probably paid
attention to a wide variety of personal characteristics of the instructor in order to determine how
you might best engage them over the course of the semester before they even had a chance to say
a single word. In this chapter’s Measure feature, we look at how this interactional primacy may
influence our subsequent perceptions of a person.
Box 1.4 Measure
Self-Assessments and First Impressions
Our briefest interactions with others often influence how we feel about them. At the slightest observation of
someone else’s behavior, we can make correct and incorrect guesses about a wide range of other personal
characteristics.
Scholars have figured out some relationships between our initial perceptions of other people and the attitudes toward
those people that result from our perceptions.16 The following is a shortened and modified list of questions inspired
by some early research on first impressions and attitude formation.
Instructions: Think carefully about someone you just recently met, someone with whom you have not interacted
significantly—perhaps the barista at the coffee shop on the corner or a new neighbor. Then, write the number (e.g., 1
through 7) that best corresponds with your attitudes toward each statement
1
2
3
Strongly
4
Somewhat
Disagree
Disagree
5
Somewhat
Undecided
Disagree
6
7
Strongly
Agree
Agree
Agree
__________ 1.
This person seems considerate of others.
__________ 2.
I imagine that this person is highly intelligent.
__________ 3.
I don’t think this person seems humorless.
__________ 4.
I would expect that this person will do very well in life.
__________ 5.
I can’t imagine it is likely that this person is easily irritated.
__________ 6.
This person is probably quite popular.
Add up your score and see what you get. The lowest score you can receive on this assessment is 6, while the highest
score is 42. The higher your score, the more likely your first impression of that person was influenced by an
impression of interpersonal warmth, or a belief that the person would be pleasant and likely to be a good friend. The
lower your score, the more likely you evaluated that person as cold or unpleasant.
MEASURE: Are you surprised by your score of that other person? Was your impression of this relatively new
person warmer or colder overall? Think about the things that person did or the ways that they behaved that may
have impacted your evaluation of them as a person. If your scoring of the other person is low, what kinds of
observed behaviors might you avoid in your own life? If your scoring of the other person is high, what positive
characteristics do you hope you incorporate into new interactions?
Nonverbal Communication Channels
These first impressions are made based upon a variety of different things that each person
observes and evaluates. Indeed, nonverbal messages can come through almost any of our senses,
from seeing a co-worker’s facial expressions, feeling the affectionate touch of a best friend,
smelling the cologne or perfume of a romantic partner, or hearing the heartbeat of a child during
a long embrace. (Taste is the only sense through which we don’t directly have a nonverbal code,
and even then burgeoning research is looking at the area of how food and communication are
intermixed.17 As such, some scholars even highlight taste as a way of communicating!) And to
be sure, these are only the face-to-face channels of communication, not counting the range of
nonverbal messages that can still be expressed in mediated ways.
Nonverbal communication also occurs across a variety of mediated channels, like phone
conversations, text messages, e-mails, television and film, radio, Skype or FaceTime; the list is
as long as the number of communication technologies that exist. In the written word through
messaging like text messages and e-mails, emoticons and emojis—text-based images or
graphics that replicate facial expressions or other visual cues—serve as proxies for nonverbal
communication. On phone conversations or on the radio, the vocal characteristics of the speaker,
including the pauses between speaking. serve as nonverbal indicators which may contain
information about the speaker’s emotional state. Television and film contexts provide for a rich
expression of nonverbal messages, but lose some of the interactivity of actual interaction. Skype,
FaceTime, or other real-time video messaging services allow for a variety of real-time interactive
nonverbal messages to be shared, but some scholars argue that they lack some of the important
features of messages allowed through face-to-face interactions.18 We explore the impact of
channel selection in this chapter’s Engage feature.
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Box 1.5 Engage
Diverse Channels, Diverse Choices
Across the diversity of a modern society, it is very common to have regular interactions among people from
different backgrounds who have new perspectives based on their everyday life. Brandi was excited to move to a
university located deep in a city center, as her main life experiences before that point occurred in a suburban setting
where everyone appeared relatively similar at first glance. Upon arriving for her second year of college after a
summer working at a regional camp, Brandi reflected on the many different ways that she knew how to make friends
and meet new people. While she was probably pretty popular at camp that summer—she didn’t like to brag—Brandi
had a lot of difficulty getting to know her neighbors she encountered in the hall in her new downtown apartment
building. She regularly tried to look people in the eye directly and extend her arm for a handshake, but she often
found that she had been “left hanging” by her neighbors, whether intentionally or not.
Although Brandi quickly learned that not all of her neighbors relied primarily on face-to-face channels to navigate
their daily lives, she did find it strange that so many of her neighbors had their faces buried in their phones or tablets
and took little to no interest in her at all. After a conversation with one friendly long-term resident helped her realize
that people valued privacy in such a densely populated environment, Brandi realized that her own way of doing
things was not always the most common—or even most desired—in every environment.
ENGAGE: What things might Brandi do that her classmates and new neighbors find to be strange? Do you think
Brandi will end up behaving similarly to those around her in a few years, or will she keep up her outgoing
“suburban” ways? How have you managed your relationships across a variety of channels as you transitioned to
college life?
Channel Reliance
Many scholars have even looked at characteristics of these channels more intentionally, trying to
determine which channels are most important for communicating a full range of messages.
Indeed, humans have a form of channel reliance in which we tend to rely on specific channels
(like vocal or visual cues, for example) for specific types of messages (e.g., paying the most
attention to vocal cues when receiving a deceptive message).19, 20 This channel reliance will be
discussed across multiple chapters in this book where appropriate. Significantly, the interactivity
of a variety of channel types may impact our ability to receive an intended message, as the
degree to which we can engage the message sender may influence what nonverbal characteristics
we pay attention to.21
A Summary of Nonverbal Communication Origins
Although the transactional model of communication is the preferred way of thinking about the
basic elements of human communication, most all models highlight the complexities of
messaging. Whether you prefer to use the linear model or the transactional model of
communication, it is difficult to ignore the variety of ways that we send to the people in our lives
through both verbal and nonverbal messaging. Nonverbal communication includes a specific set
of characteristics or behaviors that send messages to our friends, family, coworkers, romantic
partners, and any other individuals that we engage with throughout our lives. Because nonverbal
communication has come first throughout our existence, humans tend to rely on nonverbal
messages much more than any verbal forms of communication. Just like verbal messaging, these
nonverbal messages are sent by an individual using a specific channel; often, that same
individual is receiving messages simultaneously, trying to decode the intended message despite
many noise and features of the context that may impede the successful transmission of the
message. With so many different nonverbal and verbal messages present in our daily lives, it is
not surprising that we grow increasingly reliant upon certain types of messages over the course
of our life span, influenced in part by the interactivity of the channel through which we received
that message. Throughout the rest of the book, we will explore specific features and contexts of
the nonverbal messages in our daily lives.
Closing Questions
Knowing the impact of first impressions, how will you manage your nonverbal self to make sure
that your messages fit your goals?
In what way do you expect to use nonverbal communication to influence your close relationships
in the future?
Key Terms
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
channels 5
channel reliance 15
context 5
decoding 5
emojis 14
emoticons 14
encoding 5
feedback 6
interactional primacy 12
linear model of communication 4
message 4
noise 5
nonverbal communication 8
ontogenetic primacy 11
phylogenetic primacy 11
physical noise 5
physiological noise 5
primacy 10
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
psychological noise 5
receiver 5
semantic noise 5
sender 5
transactional messaging 7
transactional model of communication 6
unidirectional messaging 7
verbal communication 8
vocal/auditory messages 10
Descriptions of Images and Figures
Back to Figure
The flow diagram is present within a large oval labeled “Context”. The flow diagram shows a
sender sending a message to a receiver through a channel. The message is presented as a oneway arrow. Surrounding the flow diagram and within the context is noise.
Back to Figure
The flow diagram is present within a large oval labeled “Context”. The flow diagram shows a
sender and receiver and a receiver and sender connected through a message that travels through a
channel. The message is presented as a double-headed arrow. Surrounding the flow diagram and
within the context is noise. A channel of feedback flows from the sender and receiver to the
receiver and sender, and vice versa.
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2 Nonverbal Communication Features
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Learning Objectives
After reading this chapter you will be able to do the following:
•
•
•
•
List the main principles of nonverbal messaging
Distinguish between digital and analog messages
Describe how humans process messages
Explain how nonverbal communication is innate
Chance and Kelly rarely hung out anymore. It’s not that they stopped liking each other, but they
didn’t seem to have as much in common as they did back when they were in high school student
government together. Plus, they were busy. Once she got to college, Kelly got a part-time job at
a campus coffee shop and a full-time boyfriend; at the same time, Chance got involved with the
Pride community and began a minor in gender studies to complement a full load of engineering
coursework. When Kelly happened to be near Chance in the student union, she didn’t
immediately recognize Chance because of the new hairstyle. Chance had been happy to see
Kelly from a distance. Happy, that is, until Kelly walked closer and kept walking right on by en
route to her shift at the coffee shop without even a word. Chance was concerned that all the
recent hours spent at the Pride Resource Center rubbed Kelly the wrong way, and sent Kelly a
text, fearing their casual friendship had taken a turn for the worse. A later text of explanation
from Kelly didn’t calm Chance’s fear that she might be unhappy with their friendship.
Guiding Questions
How do nonverbal messages lead to misunderstanding?
To what extent can individuals manage the impressions that they are sending to one another?
Principles of Nonverbal Messaging
In their discipline-defining book, scholars Judee Burgoon and Thomas Paine highlighted some
important characteristics of nonverbal communication that are still significant today.1 Even
though communicators have experienced dramatic changes in communication technologies over
the past years, the basic principles of nonverbal messaging are just as true now as they were
decades ago, regardless of nonverbal channel.
Nonverbal Messaging Is Ubiquitous
The first characteristic of nonverbal communication is that it is everywhere. Every single
interaction between humans contains some nonverbal component, regardless of whether that
interaction occurs face to face, over the telephone, by text message, through a computer, on a
boat, on a train, or on a plane. Whenever humans interact, they use nonverbal messaging in some
way. According to a receiver-based perspective of communication, even the unintended
behaviors of everyday life can be perceived to have some communicative value, so that student
sleeping in class next to you right now may be unintentionally letting your instructor know that
he or she is more sleepy than he or she is interested in class. This receiver-based perspective of
communication is in keeping with the oft-repeated maxim that you may have heard in another
more introductory communication class: “One cannot not communicate.”2 This statement
reminds us time and time again that we are always sending messages regardless of intent. From
the facial expressions we make when we think no one is looking, to the pause between when we
receive and then reply to a text message, other people are constantly ascribing meaning to the
behaviors and characteristics we exhibit throughout our life.
Nonverbal Messaging Functions in Many Ways
We can use nonverbal messages in almost any situation. Nonverbal communication can help
people in giving directions to a stranger, influencing someone to buy a fundraising raffle ticket,
indicating a desire for a romantic encounter with a new partner, or even deceiving someone
about your feelings toward the horrible birthday gift you just received. Sometimes the nonverbal
messages occur alongside the verbal messages (e.g., alongside words) that you are sending and
receiving with a communication partner. Other times, the nonverbal messages are the sole
method of communicating—like when you are at a concert that is particularly loud and you want
to let your friends know that you are leaving early, but they wouldn’t be able to hear any words
you might say so you must resort to gestures instead.
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Nonverbal Messaging Is Widely Used
In every culture and across every location, people use a variety of nonverbal behaviors to send
messages to one another. Some scholars have discovered that the facial expressions we use are
near universal, meaning that people understand some common nonverbal messages regardless of
their background.3 In almost every situation across most any location on earth, for example,
people are likely to know the difference between an angry face and a smiling happy face,
regardless of their unique culture or background.4
Have you ever traveled abroad? Or spent time with people or with families that don’t speak the
language that you personally grew up with? You may have found it relatively easy to interact
with these people, even if you didn’t have a single word of verbal communication shared
between you.
Sherold enjoys having friends from around the world, and during a gap year before college, he
wanted to meet up with friends in a restaurant near the Mexico–U.S. border. When he arrived at
the restaurant, he realized he had no way to alert the staff to his significant tomato allergy. By
pantomiming the shape of a round fruit, pointing to the color red, and making a choking motion
by wrapping his hands around his neck, he was able to communicate enough information that the
server appeared to understand. Retreating to the back and returning to the table while holding a
medium-size tomato—shaking her head and wagging her finger at it—the server was able to
confirm what Sherold meant by his “performance,” and the delicious meal ended up being a
highlight of Sherold’s trip. Even though Sherold didn’t speak a word of the local language, he
was able to use nonverbal messaging to communicate a relatively sophisticated message across
cultures in a way that felt natural to him. In this chapter’s Engage feature we have another
example of cultural differences influencing nonverbal behavior.
Box 2.1 Engage
Nonverbal Behaviors in Diverse Contexts
North America is filled with a variety of people from all over the world. While Derek’s family has lived in his
hometown for generations, Derek’s boyfriend Marcus has recently emigrated from Europe—and Marcus’s extended
family is still learning the local language. Although Derek likes Marcus’s family quite a bit, he feels a little left out
because of not knowing exactly what they are saying. Plus, there was “the incident.” Last time he visited the house,
Derek used the restroom and ran out of toilet paper. Coming out from the bathroom and realizing his own boyfriend
had taken a quick trip to the store, Derek had a heck of a time trying to get another roll without having a shared
language system. Although he was able to eventually get them to figure it out, Marcus confides that his family still
makes some odd gestures every time Derek’s name comes up.
Aside from being one of the more awkward moments of his life, Derek feels like an outsider as he navigates his
boyfriend’s life. Recently, his best friend Sadie encouraged him to think about all the nonnative English speakers
that he interacts with daily, immigrants and new citizens who don’t have his considerable English speaking skills.
Derek realized that he himself has been complicit in making others feel badly when they don’t embrace the majority
language, even to the point of dismissing them as people without relevant opinions or feelings.
ENGAGE: What is our obligation when communicating with diverse others? Does that obligation change when we
don’t share a common language? Nonverbal communication is often described as a “universal language.” Does
that idea of universality impact our opinion at all when realizing that we can, in fact, send messages to one
another—and have had that shared nonverbal language system since our earliest years as a child?
While not every nonverbal message translates well across cultures or locations, as
aforementioned many facial expressions are similar across cultures. In addition, many gestures
are directly related to the things that they represent, so the meaning is likely similar among most
people. Raising one’s hand in the air above your head when describing a person likely means
“tall” across cultures, and rotating your arms like you are swimming will likely convey
something about water in many places around the world. Other nonverbal messages may not
transfer as well, like when mimicking typing on a keyboard to represent a computer or clicking
an imaginary mouse; in areas where computer usage is not widespread, obviously describing
such technologies would be difficult or impossible even with verbal language.
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Nonverbal Messaging Impacts Meaning-Making
Nonverbal messages can add great significance to an interaction, such as giving a dear friend a
comforting hug at a funeral. Such a gesture may convey more than words alone could possibly
communicate, helping someone to know the depth of closeness and empathy shared between
friends. Nonverbal messages can also inadvertently send a message other than the one intended,
however, such as when a coworker puts a hand of support on the shoulder of their colleague,
only to have such behavior interpreted as a sexual advance. The behavior that one person
intended to use to show friendship and familiarity could be taken for something which ultimately
destroys the collegial relationship.
While nonverbal behaviors can add to one’s understanding of an intended message, it can also
lead to someone being still further confused about a sender’s intent, sometimes even with
dramatic results. When Chia-Yen was driving on a winding, hilly road in the foothills just
outside of the city, she came to a stop sign on a blind corner. Noticing that someone in another
car was having trouble using a manual transmission, she waited and waved the other car through
and let that other person have her turn. Unfortunately, that car then pulled out and was
immediately struck by an oncoming car. Even though it was a minor collision, Chia-Yen felt
guilty when she realized that the driver of the other car thought she was giving him the “allclear” signal when she only meant to give him her turn at navigating the intersection. A
relatively simple wave of the hand meant two different things to two different drivers on the road
that day.
Nonverbal Messaging has Primacy
As discussed in Chapter 1, nonverbal messaging is a “first” for us in many ways. It’s the first
way that we learned to communicate as a species (i.e., phylogenetic primacy), the first way that
we learned to communicate across our individual life span (i.e., ontogenetic primacy), and the
first way that we continue to learn information about others through first impressions (i.e.,
interactional primacy).5 Because nonverbal communication has primacy by coming before verbal
language in so many ways, we have a longer history with—and a greater reliance on—nonverbal
messages than we have with words and other linguistic features. When Shelly turned a corner in
the mall and suddenly saw her “frenemy” Barbara from down the street, her face naturally turned
into a look of contempt before she even had time to think about it. By the time she reached
Barbara, Shelly had composed a smile and politely asked how Barbara was doing, but the overall
tone of the interaction had already been set by an unintentional facial expression before words
were spoken.
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Nonverbal Messaging Is Ambiguous
Even though nonverbal messaging is universal in a variety of ways, there is just enough
ambiguity across nonverbal behaviors to be useful in certain situations. Occasionally, people
may want to send a message that can’t (or shouldn’t) be put into words, whether it is a criticism
or disagreement with an important relational partner, a statement that needs to be off the record,
or even a humorous jab that might be too edgy to say outright. In those cases, nonverbal
behaviors offer an opportunity to get a message across without the sender being held accountable
for the verbal content that would have replaced that message.
For example, when Santiago was giving his presentation at work last week, no one wanted to tell
him that he was boring and taking too long; at the same time, someone needed to get the meeting
moving along or they would be there all day. Santiago’s supervisor helped wrap things up by
looking at his watch, quietly yawning, and stretching his arms in such a way that Santiago got
the hint without being publicly embarrassed. Later that evening, Santiago put on his favorite silk
shirt and was immediately confronted by his wife Stacia, who blocked his path, raised her
eyebrows at the shirt, and handed him a conservative polo. Instead of obviously criticizing
Santiago’s clothing options, Stacia also sent a message in a straightforward yet ambiguous
way that did not hurt Santiago’s feelings as much as a direct criticism of his favorite shirt might.
To further refine your own ways of dealing with cultural differences in communication, check
out this chapter’s Apply feature where you can consider another example of a difficult
communication situation.
Box 2.2 Apply
Trusted Expressions of Excitement and Interest
LaShonda was trying to figure out what to get her niece Aaliyah for her eighth birthday party, but was having
trouble deciding between some options. As she was looking at possible toys online and trying to figure out which
one to get, she decided to FaceTime her sister’s family and have a conversation. After the usual pleasantries,
LaShonda decided it was time to sneakily figure out what to get. She mentioned a few toys, and noticed that
Aaliyah’s face really lit up at the mention of a remote-control robot that looked like a dog, and then a few moments
later LaShonda’s sister mentioned that the best option would be a different toy that didn’t seem to really grab
anyone’s attention. After exiting the FaceTime conversation, LaShonda clicked over to the two different options for
the birthday present, and her mouse hovered over the “add to my basket” button for each of the two toys. LaShonda
was in a bit of a conundrum.
LaShonda really struggled with what toy to purchase in this scenario. LaShonda’s sister clearly highlighted a toy
that her niece wanted, but Aaliyah looked so excited at the thought of that small remote-control robot puppy. While
both toys were great options, LaShonda really wanted to have her toy make a splash at the party.
APPLY: Which toy do you think LaShonda eventually purchased for Aaliyah? Why do you think that is the case?
How does this entire scenario illustrate how much stock we put in nonverbal messages over verbal messages? Do
you think the conversation would have had a different outcome if it had just happened over a normal phone call?
Nonverbal Messaging Is Accepted
For a variety of reasons, people tend to trust nonverbal messages over the verbal messages that
may accompany them.6, 7 Perhaps because of the primacy of the nonverbal channels of
communication, or maybe because people know that nonverbals can be used to send information
that one would prefer to remain off the record, the receivers of messages often believe the
messaging implied by nonverbal communication, even when it is in direct contradiction to the
verbal messages sent in the same interaction.8
This reliance on the nonverbal components of an overall interaction is one reason why sarcasm
works so effectively: The nonverbal messages occur alongside the verbal statements, and the
facial expressions or tone of voice serve to negate the words or phrases that are spoken by the
messenger.
Ken and Myles have been married for a couple years now, and Myles loves to tease Ken about
his family and their strange mannerisms. When Myles gets a particularly good joke in about the
way that Ken’s father snores on the couch during a family visit, Ken jabs Myles in the side with
his elbow and says, “Oh stop it, I hate you.” Because Ken had a smile on his face, a soft casual
tone to his voice, and kept good eye contact, Myles is confident that Ken means the exact
opposite of what he said. If Myles accepted Ken’s verbal message rather than his nonverbal
behaviors, they might have a long and uncomfortable conversation in store for the ride home
after the visit.
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Digital vs. Analog Representations
In light of our previous discussion of the characteristics of nonverbal messaging, it becomes
useful to further clarify the distinction between nonverbal and verbal behaviors. One useful way
to think of the difference between nonverbal and verbal behaviors has to do with the distinction
between digital representations and analog representations during interactions.9, 10 A digital
representation is one in which the components of the message have an arbitrary relationship to
the thing that is being signified. This arbitrary relationship is assigned by cultural experience,
much in the same way that a specific set of letters are put together to form a word that is then
assigned to represent a concept. Consider, for example, the digital clock face represented on the
previous page. If you break it down to its most basic form, the passage of time is signified by a
bunch of little lines moving places all over a screen to create easily recognizable patterns that
mean something. In the case of the clock face in the picture, the lines have been lit in such a way
as to indicate that it is currently 8:54 a. m. A box of vegetables delivered to a store might be
clearly labeled c-o-r-n, a string of letters that we have arbitrarily decided can be used to represent
a particularly delicious ingredient in making taco shells.
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Analog representations, on the other hand, are ones where there is a direct link between the
message and the thing being signified. An analog clock, for example, has minute hands which
move around a dial to signal the passing of time. As seen in the Photo, a sketch of an ear of corn
in front of a farmer’s market stand looks enough like the vegetable that people know exactly
what the vendor is selling. Unlike digital representations that rely on culture-specific symbols
much like language, analog representations use signs that inherently relate to or imply the object
of discussion.11
Typically, verbal messages are considered two be digital representations of something, because
they consist of a string of symbolic letters or sounds that have come to represent a specific
concept. Nonverbal messages are often described as analog representations, because one need
not have much (or sometimes even any) cultural background to gain a solid impression of what
message a skilled communicator is trying to convey.
Message Processing
This ability to successfully send or receive nonverbal messages is an important part of the
concept of message processing,12, 13 which is the combination of encoding and decoding
messages in human interaction. Think about the models of communication that we looked at
in Chapter 1. When people are engaging in the encoding of messages, they are constructing a
message to send to their interaction partner, likely working to figure out how best to produce a
message in order to reach the audience. Thinking of the right words to say? Making sure that a
facial expression matches your emotion? Each of these are examples of encoding behaviors that
people engage to get their point across to an audience. Once the message is encoded, it is sent
through a channel to the receiver, who then begins the process of trying to interpret meaning
from a communication act or behavior. The receiver then begins decoding the message received,
in an attempt to understand or act upon the verbal or nonverbal messages received. We go into
the stages of communicating—the encoding and decoding involved in message processing—in
the next section as we explore the ways that humans send and receive nonverbal messages
among one another. While some early research focused on the ways that nonverbal messaging
influenced how we attend to verbal messages,14 most scholars now understand that nonverbal
messages are more than just an added “bonus” to the verbal messages that people use in
interpersonal interactions. Here we look at a three-stage model of nonverbal message processing
that explains how humans are able to successfully receive messages from one another.15
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The Attention Stage
In order for someone to receive a message from an interaction partner, first they must be
attending to that partner, a behavior that occurs during the attention stage. Rather than just
seeing or hearing messages that are being sent, one must listen and observe while engaging with
another person. We are naturally likely to only give our attention to a small subset of verbal and
nonverbal messages in any situation, often because of the presence of different types of noise as
highlighted in Chapter 1.16 The ability to screen out any distractions requires a great deal of
mental energy, and only when one is intentionally giving attention to a communicator can they
then begin to receive verbal or nonverbal messages. Interestingly, research has shown that
women are significantly more likely to give attention to nonverbal messages, highlighting a sex
difference that may contribute to better understanding of nuance in communication.17 As more
and more things compete for our attention in our daily lives, it is increasingly difficult to attend
to the verbal and nonverbal messages of a particular individual, or to be attended to by someone
else. Some businesses even have a formal training system for employees on how to appear to pay
attention to a customer, because a lack of attention is so widespread that it is even beginning to
be considered “normal” in modern times.18 Fortunately, nonverbal communication has the
potential to be quite engaging, with people able to use gestures, vocal variety, direct eye contact,
and kinesic movements to re-engage an audience that appears to be losing interest
quickly.19, 20 In this chapter’s Absorb feature we look at the attention of audience members in a
popular late-night talk show.
Box 2.3 Absorb
Attention on Popular Media
James Corden is famous for his spontaneous audience interactions during The Late Late Show with James Corden.
With an audience full of people who came specifically to watch the show, he still highlights the difficulty of paying
attention when a lot is going on in his recurring game “Were you paying attention?” in the clip below.
“Were You Paying Attention?” from The Late Late Show with James Corden. March 21, 2018. Running Time:
10:24. Available on YouTube.
As someone watching from home, it seems ludicrous that individuals would spend an entire day of their lives
focused on trying to see a live recording of a late night talk show, and then not be able to recount details of the very
show they are in the middle of taping. That being said, the majority of audience participants were unable to recall
even those significant moments from the program.
ABSORB: How does the clip illustrate just how easily individual attention is divided? How do you think you would
respond in a similar situation? Quick, without looking, what color was James Corden’s tie in the video clip? As you
might imagine, even the most in-your-face details may be difficult to remember when so many things are competing
for our attention.
The Comprehension Stage
The next stage of processing messages has to do with how we engage material to which we have
given our attention. Specifically, the comprehension stage involves a listener’s attempt to
actually understand the verbal or nonverbal messages, rather than just hear or see them (but not
critically engage them). Scholars Stewart and Huston argue that there are three main forms of
active listening, or attending to a conversational partner in order to create
understanding.21, 22 Indeed, these same attempts at comprehension apply for nonverbal messaging
as well and are adapted accordingly.
Dialogic Comprehension
Dialogic comprehension can emerge from an active process of paying attention to one another’s
verbal and nonverbal messaging. In this active form of engagement and observation, both parties
seek to co-construct shared meaning and understand each other’s thoughts and feelings through
conversation and dialogue, while also attending to the nonverbal displays of one another. In this
chapter’s Measure feature you can assess your own ability to take the perspective of another
person.
Empathic Comprehension
Empathic comprehension can also emerge from active attention, in which partners develop an
understanding of one another and attempt to use all available information to assist in adopting
the perspective of one’s conversational partner and interpreting the world through that
perspective.
Analytic Comprehension
Analytic comprehension is a form of active comprehension in which one party seeks to analyze
or critique the message and the implications of a communication interaction in order to
determine the truth or veracity of the verbal and nonverbal messages.
Box 2.4 Measure
Self-Assessments and Perspective-Taking
People often are self-involved when it comes to managing their own relationship difficulties. That is, most people
naturally want to act in what seems like their own best interests, even if it may ultimately damage the relationship
that they have with their interaction partner, whether a friend, family member, or romantic partner.
Scholars have figured out a way to measure whether someone is likely to try to understand where their interaction
partner is coming from, a behavior often described as perspective-taking.23, 24 The following is a shortened and
modified list of questions inspired by some original research on empathy and perspective-taking.
Instructions: Think carefully about a person that you interact with regularly, someone close enough that you might
have normal moments of conflict as part of your relationship. With that person in mind, consider whether the
following statements describe you well. Write the number (e.g., 1 through 4) that best corresponds with your fit with
each statement.
1
2
3
4
Does Not
Does Not
Somewhat
Describes
Describe
Describe
Describes
Me Very
Me At All
Me Well
Me
Well
__________ 1.
I seem to know how this person feels very often.
__________ 2.
When I’m upset with this person, I try to put myself in their position.
__________ 3.
I try to understand this person by imagining how things look to them.
__________ 4.
I try to look at this person’s side of things before making a decision.
__________ 5.
I know what it is like to “walk a mile in this person’s shoes.”
__________ 6.
I am a pretty good judge of this person’s feelings.
Add up your score and see what you get. The lowest score you can receive on this assessment is 6, while the highest
score is 24. The higher your score, the more likely you are trying to engage in empathy in this relationship. The
lower your score, the less likely you try to engage in perspective-taking with this one relational partner
MEASURE: Are you surprised by your score? Was it higher or lower than the score you expected? Think about the
things that may impact whether you try to understand your interaction partner, including specific characteristics of
the relationship and the context. What might cause you to be more or less likely to consider their perspective during
a disagreement?
The Memory Stage
Finally, the third stage of message processing is called the memory stage, and focuses on our
ability to recall information about an interaction. This stage focuses on not only information
about the content of the interaction, but also information about the context in which the
interaction occurred, the relational information implied by the manner of interaction, as well as
other nonverbal characteristics of the messaging beyond the simple verbal information that
usually comprises recall. Obviously, it is nearly impossible to remember all parts of an
interaction, both verbal and nonverbal; that being said, the greater the degree to which
communicators attempt to actively engage one another, the more likely they will be able to have
significant recall of important features of the interaction. Indeed, although much research on
recall focuses on verbal communication, the nonverbal messaging associated with human
interaction is among our earliest and most primal communication skills.25
Box 2.5 Examine
The Ethics of Analysis
Our modern media landscape encourages us to reconsider whether people are telling us the truth. When we are
trying to evaluate the truthfulness of someone’s words or the sincerity of their actions or emotional displays, it is
essential to consider our own biases that we might have toward that person as we are making our analysis. For
example, it is common for people to dismiss the statements or expressions of politicians from a different political
party, or to disregard the explanations of athletes who play on a rival team. When watching a basketball game,
people are quick to dismiss something even as provable as a potential foul on the court when it happens to a member
of the visiting team.
Although it is tempting to discount a statement of an unliked person as untruthful, or to write off the crocodile tears
of a man or woman confessing a personal failing, good communicators must evaluate others’ statements and
interpersonal situations based upon a variety of information inputs. For example, what is this person’s history of
truthfulness? Is there some personal trigger evident when I encounter this person, one that makes me want to jump
to conclusions without having heard their statement or without having considered relevant evidence? Do I have
reason to doubt the veracity of this individual’s verbal or nonverbal messages? In our modern society, we are often
tempted to dismiss information that could prove helpful in making judgements of our own, often at our own peril.
EXAMINE: Considering our own biases allows us to approach message analysis in a more ethical way. What
kinds of things trigger you to distrust someone? Are there any sociodemographic categories (e.g., age, gender, race,
religion, political party) about which you need to have a broader mind? Oftentimes, we are able to overcome much
bias simply by acknowledging the areas in which we might be inclined to jump to conclusions. Even more
importantly, interacting with people who are very different from ourselves can also allow us to challenge our
previously held beliefs.
Nonverbal Communication—Our Innate Ability
As mentioned earlier in the chapter, nonverbal communication is a near-universal skill. There is
something inherent in being human that means that people will be able to communicate in some
way without verbal messaging. An inherited trait that is further enhanced throughout a lifetime
of cultural learning, the ability to send or receive messages nonverbally is a fundamental
characteristic of being a human being. Indeed, scholars regularly note that learning difficulties
associated with poor nonverbal skills are often much more difficult to remediate than those
associated with verbal skills like speech or reading ability.26, 27 Indeed, children who are less
skilled at using nonverbal messaging are often frequently the victim of a variety of forms of
bullying or social ostracization,28 likely the result of an inability to pick up on the subtleties of
human interaction deemed necessary to navigate the nuances of childhood playgrounds.
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Despite this innate ability to send or receive messages nonverbally, it becomes very obvious
during adult social situations that some people are more skilled at communicating nonverbally
than are others. Nonverbal communication is an important part of social competence or social
intelligence.29, 30, 31 Indeed, socially intelligent adults can perceive a wide variety of individual
observed characteristics based on subtle nonverbal behaviors, including abstract characteristics
like professional success, religious identity, political ideology, sexual orientation, and a variety
of other characteristics that may otherwise be available as information only through the process
of self-disclosure (i.e., revealing personal information about the self through verbal
conversation).32 While scholars have worked to try to measure this ability to send or receive
nonverbal messages,33 we can probably easily identify in our own lives those who are more or
less skilled at communicating nonverbally or picking up on social skills.
A Summary of Nonverbal Communication Features
Our understanding of the characteristics of nonverbal communication is extended even further by
highlighting the key principles of nonverbal messaging. First, nonverbal messaging is
everywhere, a characteristic which is highlighted in three of those principles: Nonverbal
messaging is ubiquitous, nonverbal messaging is widely used, and nonverbal messaging is
widely accepted. Some specific caveats are also highlighted in those principles, pointing out that
nonverbal messaging functions in many ways, nonverbal messaging impacts meaning-making,
and nonverbal messaging is ambiguous. Lastly, it’s important to remember the final principle
that was initially discussed in Chapter 1: nonverbal messaging Has primacy. One characteristic
that helps in that primacy is the direct nature of nonverbal representation; rather than being
digital and therefor arbitrarily related, nonverbal communication is analogic and has a direct
relationship to the thing it represents. Finally, we turn our attention to considering the ways that
individuals process nonverbal information, highlighting the importance of active attention in
human interaction.
Closing Questions
Now that you are aware of the possible misinterpretations of nonverbal messages, what will you
do to make sure that people better understand your intent?
Given that people form impressions of you based upon your verbal and nonverbal messaging,
what do you plan to do to best manage those impressions?
Key Terms
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
analog representation 26
analytic comprehension 28
attention stage 27
comprehension stage 28
dialogic comprehension 28
digital representation 25
empathic Comprehension 28
memory stage 30
message processing 26
self-disclosure 31
social competence 31
social intelligence 31
Go to Next section
Go to Previous section
3 Identity and the Nonverbal Codes
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Learning Objectives
After reading this chapter you will be able to do the following:
•
•
•
Define the concept of nonverbal codes
List each of the nonverbal codes
Explain and give examples of each code
As a recent college graduate, Josefina was thrilled to get a position at a downtown marketing
firm. Despite having beat out over 200 other applicants for the position, Josefina was concerned
at the end of the first week when she found out she was her supervisor Kizzy’s second choice for
the position. As a result, Josefina wanted to show her new supervisor how diligent and qualified
she truly was. By the end of the 60-day probationary period, Josefina’s supervisor wrote a
glowing review describing how well she was fitting in. In the review, Kizzy acknowledged how
warmly Josefina greeted new clients with a smile, direct eye contact, and a firm sustained
handshake. She also highlighted Josefina’s attention during meetings and ability to appear
focused, using direct body orientation and frequent nods or smiles to indicate her attention.
Kizzy also mentioned her professional dress with slacks and a muted blouse-and-blazer
combination, in addition to her amazing timeliness in which she proved herself to be the first to
arrive to every client meeting. Josefina was happy to have the opportunity to continue to succeed
at the firm despite her early misgivings.
Guiding Questions
How do we use nonverbal messages to manage our identities?
Through which nonverbal codes should we attempt to reinforce a message?
How do we use different nonverbal codes to create a gestalt impression?
Managing Identities
How would you describe yourself? What are the specific descriptions that help you explain to
others who you are? Identity is a word that describes the relatively unchanging or stable set of
perceptions or ideas that we hold about ourselves.1 It is quite useful to consider the most basic
building blocks of an individual’s identity as we begin to consider our nonverbal behaviors and
how they indicate who we think we are.
Sex and Gender
One of the primary identities that emerges in our modern world have to do with our perceptions
of how we do or don’t fit into traditional sex roles. Among our earliest experiences are moments
where we are socialized to behave like boys and girls, men and women. Much research has
looked at the various influences on our gender development, from the early messages our parents
tell us like “boys don’t cry” or “be a pretty little lady,” to the different toys that are marketed to
boys and girls and whether they emphasize fighting and dominance (typically for boys) or
nurturance and cooperation (typically for girls). Over time, we develop an understanding about a
variety of nonverbal characteristics that help us to act out a gender identity including how much
space we take up in public, whether we act tough or accept needed help, the types of clothes we
wear, and even the facial expressions we allow ourselves to show to both known and unknown
others.
Nonverbal communication becomes one of the most common ways to portray ourselves as
having a specific sex (defined in biological terms, this includes genital, chromosomal, and
hormonal displays of maleness and femaleness2) or gender (a culturally defined understanding
of what social behaviors are generally believed to be representations of masculinity, femininity,
or both (androgynous), or neither (undifferentiated). At 20 years old, Kyoko has a very
specific understanding of how she “should” behave as a woman; unfortunately, as a current
study-abroad participant in the United States, she is discovering that her perspective is different
from the culture that surrounds her, since her views are so strongly influenced by her childhood
as a Japanese national. She suddenly sees her own Harajuku-style clothing choices as overly
feminine and almost infantile when compared to many of her New England classmates, totally
unaware of her classmates’ actual views of her stylings as “pretty punk-rock.” To explore further
the use of personal pronouns when talking about these gender concepts, see the Examine feature
in this chapter, next.
iStock.com/electravk
Box 3.1 Examine
The Ethics of Personal Pronouns
In the English language, we often use gendered pronouns to describe the actions of another person. The structure
“She forgot her phone when she went to her work today” may make a lot of sense when answering your own
romantic partner’s missed call, but in most other situations, it is not appropriate to guess the gender identity of an
unknown other despite a variety of nonverbal displays that may hint at a particular gendered life. It is tempting to
rely on long hair, the use of makeup, or even on feminine colors (e.g., pinks or purples) or cuts of clothing (e.g.,
long, flowing, or even gauzy layers) to assume that someone wants to be seen as a woman. Additionally, masculine,
wide, expansive gestures or short hair with accented musculature may make someone appear more manly, but even
the most masculine of clothing (i.e., a tuxedo) may not be a reliable indicator that the wearer is a man.
While some people may bemoan the “difficulties” of making their own communication match the lived experiences
of the people around them, it is incredibly easy to avoid mislabeling someone as a “him” (“he”) or “her” (“she”)
when that person actually uses another different pronoun. An important best practice to be adopted by the skilled
communicator is to simply ask someone what pronoun they use. Rather than asking them what pronoun they
prefer—which implies that there is a “real” pronoun that should be used but isn’t—simply asking someone about
their pronouns is easy and much less awkward than someone might assume. For people who never give their own
pronoun a second thought, a simple step can eliminate a discouraging moment of someone’s day.
EXAMINE: A simple clarifying question can help us better navigate the social realities of our modern world.
Although many people may engage in nonverbal displays of gender that you automatically assume imply a
masculine or a feminine identity, what might that person feel if you incorrectly use the wrong pronoun? Have you
ever had someone make an incorrect assumption about you based upon some intentional or unintentional nonverbal
display? What is the best response that you can use if someone uses the wrong pronoun when describing or
interacting with you?
Race
Other identities are also just as significant as our understanding of sex or gender, specifically
those related to our racial heritage. Because race is so often “displayed” for others to see before
other impressions are given the chance to be formed—for example, racial heritage can be
somewhat displayed through skin or hair color, the roundness of one’s eyes, general hair texture,
and even facial structure—it is not unusual for people to feel that people are seeing them more
for their race than for any other characteristic (perhaps besides gender).3 Although there isn’t any
biological basis for the many stereotypes associated with racial heritage, unfortunately many
people must navigate their world with the additional burden of unwarranted perceptions of their
behavior, character, biology, or ethics. At the same time, some people may be unjustly gifted
with unearned privilege based upon their racial heritage, typically referred to as white
privilege for Caucasians in North America.4 (Similarly, men often benefit from male privilege.)
Although privilege is often an emotionally charged topic because of all the feelings such a
conversation may bring to the surface, it is important for people to learn more about how they
have participated in society and to consider the ways in which they may have benefitted in
different ways from unequal power structures.
Individuals may have different perceptions of their own racial identity, depending upon the
experiences that they have had with members of not only other races but also with individuals
that share their own racial background. Xochitl, for example, was taught to embrace her Chicana
identity and was very politically active in local Latinx advocacy organizations. As a result, she is
able to quickly identify with strong role models that share her background. Her own mother had
a very different childhood, not learning until later in life that her racial identity was a strength to
be acknowledged or highlighted, rather than simply a detriment to deal with as she tried to
assimilate into a majority culture. In this chapter’s Absorb feature we see an example from
popular media of how identity characteristics like these can influence perceptions of our
interaction partners.
Box 3.2 Absorb
Nonverbal Identity Displays on Popular Media
Talk show host Seth Meyers plays with notions of racial and sexual identity in the recurring segment “Jokes Seth
Can’t Tell” on his Late Night with Seth Meyers show. Because of his visible whiteness and maleness—and his selfadmitted heterosexuality—Seth claims that certain jokes are off-limits because the punch lines involve issues of
blackness, queerness, or of women’s lived experiences. Watch as Seth navigates identity in the clip below.
“Jokes Seth Can’t Tell: Possible Shoplifters, Artisan Lemonade.” from Late Night with Seth Meyers. July 31, 2018.
Available on YouTube.
Consider the nonverbal reactions of Seth’s writers when he finally tells an admittedly inappropriate joke at the end
of the segment. With just a couple facial expressions and some vocal variation, both women are able to easily
convey their shock and (faux) outrage at Seth’s attempt at humor.
ABSORB: How do the different identities impact your reaction to the jokes in this sketch? In what ways do you as
an audience member make assumptions about each panelist based on the nonverbal displays of identity? Imagine
the difference in your reaction (if any) were Seth Meyers the only one telling each of the jokes, alone at his desk. Do
you think you would feel differently about the segment?
Culture
People often think of culture as something associated with one’s national origin or racial
background. In fact, culture is much more about the combination of the various groups to which
we belong. In addition, those groups are often located within a particular geographic region,
where local ways of doing things can emerge that influence individual identity beyond members’
other group memberships. Margie, for example, grew up in a rural area where horseback riding
and the rodeo were part of daily life. Despite considering herself to be a “girly” young woman
because of her interest in fashion and makeup techniques—after all, Margie was taught to never
go out of the house without eyeliner, boots, and a tight French braid—she knew how to fix a
tractor and regularly participated in a variety of intense western horsemanship events. When she
mentioned to her new college roommate Cheryl that she was her “daddy’s little princess,” a
whole series of misconceptions emerged starting with both the terminology as well as the selfcharacterization that Margie used; Margie was the physically strongest and most confident young
woman that Cheryl knew—always seeming to fill up all available space with her expansive
gestures and direct eye contact—and those terms and descriptors were not a good fit based upon
her own understandings of her own city life. How do you imagine you might have accidentally
created a wrong perception of your own identity by trying to be humorous or by using a
stereotype as a self-descriptor?
iStock.com/Woodkern
Personality
In addition to these more commonly considered identities, people often have closely held
thoughts about their own ways of navigating their world based upon their personalities. While
an extrovert might look forward to an evening out at a large party (because they tend to get their
energy from social interaction with a variety of others), an introvert likely prefers to recharge
with a dear friend or loved one in a more personal context. Imagine the significant nonverbal
differences in eye contact and facial expression between an individual who wants to meet new
people at an event (exhibiting direct eye contact, an open body orientation that welcomes others,
and engagingly forward smile) as compared to someone who desperately wants to leave because
they have had their fill of new faces and unremembered names, making themselves appear both
smaller and more unapproachable as they head toward the exit furtively with an unwelcome
facial expression and repeated glances at a watch.
Also consider a different form of personality-driven identity, such as where the Type
A personality in a class working group likely researched and completed a class project and
submitted it to their faculty member early for feedback,5 while the serial procrastinator sitting a
couple rows back is busy figuring out if they need to get home by 7 p.m. or 8 p.m. in order to
make the midnight deadline. Far more than personality descriptors as simply being one way to
describe the general tendencies of an individual, it is not difficult to internalize and then strongly
identify with a variety of personality and character traits—for both good and bad impact on our
own lived experiences.
Other Identities
Finally, there are many other aspects of individual experience with which people may identify
with strongly, weakly, or even not at all. Are you a student athlete, a member of the marching
band, or someone totally uninterested in sports culture? Are you attracted to people of the
opposite sex, the same sex, or some combination of both or neither? Does the idea of attending a
large Comic-Con fan event inspire you to save your money, or conversely does it cause you to
look up the definition of the term Comic-Con instead? A variety of interests and activities may
influence your sense of self to varying degrees; for some people, they may so strongly identify
with something that their world almost seems to revolve around it, while you may have never
spent any time giving that topic a second thought. Tom is a huge fan of the Disney theme parks,
reading histories of the parks, keeping up with the current trends and new attractions on an
almost daily basis and even sleeping in a vintage Disneyland T-shirt. He becomes almost
unhinged—raising his voice and making extreme gestures and facial expressions—when people
try to relate to him by mentioning their own love of carnivals or even Six Flags coaster parks. To
Tom, the immersive nature of the Disney parks makes all other properties seem like a distant
second. To someone who isn’t a theme park fan, though, there really isn’t much difference
between Disneyland and the local county fair. Tom’s abrupt response incorporates a variety of
nonverbal messages that help him clarify to others the important aspects of his own identity.
Identity, Relationships, and Nonverbal Codes
People often send messages about their own personal identities using nonverbal messaging.
When people send nonverbal messages to one another, they may do so in a variety of ways. In
the example that started the chapter, Josefina used her voice, eye contact, facial expressions,
clothing, and time management skills to send a valuable message about herself as a new
employee. In so doing, her job supervisor formed an overall positive opinion, based upon each of
these distinct sets of behaviors—behaviors which, importantly, did not use any words to convey
a message. Each of these behaviors falls under a different nonverbal code, or category of
communicative behaviors that have been grouped by nonverbal characteristics that they share.6
Although some scholars occasionally combine nonverbal codes into larger groups like contact
cues (e.g., haptic and proxemic codes) or time and place cues (e.g. chronemic and environment
codes),7 each code is best understood on its own. While codes often occur alongside each other at
the same time in any interaction, this chapter explores some nuances of each code as distinct
from each other nonverbal code.
Prominent Nonverbal Codes
Although people typically use multiple codes at the same time when sending messages to one
another, it is useful to separately consider each of the nine major nonverbal codes before we
encounter them throughout the book.
Kinesics
The first major nonverbal code that we will discuss is probably the one that contains elements
you expected to study in a course on nonverbal communication. This nonverbal code most
explicitly deals with movements and motion-based behaviors known as kinesics, and will be
introduced more comprehensively in Chapter 4. Encompassing a wide variety of behaviors, this
code includes facial expressions, a wide variety of illustrative gestures, motion-based ways of
regulating conversational flow, and additional forms of communicating that use movement to
send a message to our interaction partners. In addition, this code contains other forms of
movement like motion-based ways to regulate conversational flow, or even that weird legjiggling thing you do when you are excited for class to be over; occasionally people
unintentionally convey messages that they are antsy or stressed using motion, such as tapping
one’s leg in class, clicking the end of a ballpoint pen habitually, or even braiding a friend’s hair
on a long bus ride.
Proxemics
The next major nonverbal code (and the author’s personal favorite), proxemics involves
communicating through the use of personal space and interpersonal distance. Each person has
acquired their own slightly different understanding of personal space based upon their own
cultural background and experiences.8 One of the most commonly used conceptualizations of
interpersonal distance comes from Edward T. Hall, who describes various classifications of
approximate distances and the types of relationships we’ll allow into each of those
spaces.9 In Chapter 5, we will look at the typical interaction distances between various types of
people in North America across a variety of situations, exploring how those situations help us
manage our relationships with the people we meet in those spaces.
iStock.com/PeopleImages
Box 3.3 Engage
Diverse Attitudes Toward Personal Distance
While the distances may vary across cultures, there is a near-universal understanding that there is some distance that
is considered “good manners” within each individual culture. These differences in proxemic distances can lead to
misunderstandings when interacting with people who don’t share a similar perspective.
When Rachel first met Dan, she thought of him as a “close talker” and felt like he was getting in her personal space.
She worried about whether he might be hitting on her, considering that he always stood so close. Dan, for his part,
regularly went home and told his husband that his new coworker Rachel seemed uncomfortable in their face-to-face
conversations, despite working well together over the phone. Dan incorrectly wondered if it might have something
to do with the fact that he had recently transferred from a different part of the country, or wondered whether maybe
she had a problem with his sexual orientation.
Dan and Rachel are each using personal space in ways that seem normal to them, even though they clearly are not
normal to their workplace interaction partners. Cultures vary across regions, across countries, and even across
cultures within the same large city. If Dan and Rachel can confront the misunderstandings about personal space
directly, they may come to a shared understanding that helps them move past the awkward beginning to their work
relationship.
ENGAGE: How does Dan’s and Rachel’s different use of personal space impact each interaction partner? What
would be your attitude toward personal space if you were in this situation? Have you ever encountered someone
who shared a very different understanding of proxemic distance than you? How did you manage that situation?
Haptics
The closest unit of personal space can even get so close as to include one actually touching
another person. The nonverbal code dealing exclusively with touch is known as haptics, and it
covers all forms of messaging related to physical contact. From the embrace of a lover to a slap
on the face from a frenemy, touch is one of the best ways to communicate both affection and
aggression.10 As we will discuss in Chapter 6, haptics are one part of the earliest messages that
we receive as an infant, spanning a variety of caretaking and affectionate behaviors like being
burped or hugged or bathed as an infant. Over the course of the life span, our complex
understanding of touch emerges—including a developing culture-based understanding of what is
considered appropriate or inappropriate touch—and we develop ways to evaluate how we use
touch to send messages and to communicate a variety of messages in both personal and
professional contexts.11
Oculesics
The nonverbal code dealing with the use of one’s eyes to send a message is known as oculesics,
and it is one of the most important ways to indicate attention to a partner, or to convey affection
or a threat. When Dominic wanted to let his teammate know that he was really upset with him,
he stared at him angrily during the team’s post-game meeting. Later that night, when Dominic
saw a former lover enter the post-game party at the local pub, he also used eye contact to send a
message of a very different sort. Oculesic behaviors are among the most significant ways of
perceiving the world around us, with around 80% of our social information received through
sight.12 In Chapter 7, we discuss the multiple forms of communication where people use their
eyes to send a message to another person.
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Vocalics
Focusing on the ways in which we present verbal language to one another, the code
of vocalics focuses on how we express ourselves using both words and voice qualities.
In Chapter 8, we will revisit in great detail the specifics of different qualities of the voice. Things
such as rate, pitch, vocal tone, vocal variety, and even accent are each helpful in adding a piece
to the puzzle about a conversation partner’s intent and emotional state. By understanding these
nonverbal components that can accompany a verbal message, communicators can more clearly
navigate the complicated world of feelings and emotions and intentionality that seem so different
and unique from person to person. When Sarah called Aiko on the phone during a crisis, Aiko
knew immediately that something was wrong. Even though Sarah only talked about inane stuff
like a trip to the grocery store, Aiko could tell by the tone and pitch of Sarah’s voice that she was
having a rough time. Pressing Sarah to find out what happened, Aiko finally got Sarah to reveal
that she had discovered that her partner was lying about an alcohol addiction which Sarah didn’t
know how to handle. Aiko was able to use her own vocalics to make sure that Sarah knew she
was comforted and supported and later met up with her to walk over to some campus resources
that could help Sarah out.
Physical Appearance
A large part of identity in North American culture that has to do with the ways that we perceive
ourselves based upon our looks. Indeed, we are also constantly making judgments and
assessments of others based upon their physical appearance. Discussed further in Chapter 9, the
nonverbal code of physical appearance deals with our faces and bodies, our clothing, and the
artifacts that we carry with ourselves.13 Each of these things is an important part of
communicating information about ourselves to the world around us. For example, when Jorge
first got to college as a new transfer student, he met some students during transfer orientation but
also found that many continuing students had already made friends with one another in the
previous years. That being said, Jorge noticed a group of men and women hanging out while
wearing T-shirts related to videogame culture. An avid gamer himself, Jorge also paid attention
to the fact that a bunch of those people looked genuine and relaxed, so Jorge felt comfortable
approaching that group in order to try to make new friends as he asked about where to best get
his videogame “fix.”
iStock.com/aywan88
Environment
The setting in which we find ourselves has a surprisingly large influence on our messaging. The
nonverbal code associated with our environment focuses on features of the communication
context. While we don’t necessarily acquire the environment as a nonverbal code, we do learn
reactions to environmental features, discovering how best to communicate across a variety of
contexts. Normally a loud and outgoing person, the first time that Guillaume walked into a large
Catholic cathedral, he immediately fell silent. The soaring ceilings and the dim lighting
immediately signaled a sense of quiet reflection that was unusual for the agnostic young man.
While he didn’t necessarily have a belief in a higher power, or even a sense that he was in some
special kind of place, the environmental features signaled that it was a place for calm reflection
and Guillaume responded accordingly.
A variety of environmental features may impact the messaging that occurs in that context,
signaling cultural norms about behavior or impacting the comfort or perceived intimacy of the
physical space. Some elements are relatively difficult to change (requiring major renovation or
construction), while others are relatively easier to change (rearranging furniture or repainting a
wall), things which may not seem like much but definitely impact the communication
environment in significant ways. The moods and communication patterns often associated with
particular environmental features are discussed in greater detail in Chapter 10.
Box 3.4 Apply
Making Your Space Reflect Your Identity
Katya’s parents teased her that she seemed to be going through a “bit of a goth phase” even though Katya herself
argued it wasn’t that at all. Over the summer, Katya brought a gallon of dark dove grey paint to her bedroom and
covered over all the bright pink walls, finally removing the sponge-painted unicorn designs she put up in third grade.
After all, Katya had just turned 15, and she was over what she called “all that baby stuff.” Putting up vintage posters
of classic punk bands alongside quotes from modern philosophers, Katya was working hard to show that she was
developing her identity in new and interesting ways. Although her parents jokingly derided the marked change in
Katya’s living situation, they were impressed at her initiative to make her room her own.
For her part, Katya really struggled with her own identity, particularly as the youngest sibling in a large family. She
tried to use color and art to highlight her emerging adulthood, often in ways that her parents and other siblings failed
to comprehend. Regardless of what the rest of the family thought, Katya felt fortunate to be able to have a place of
her own that she could retreat to in order to get away from the problems she struggled with in everyday life.
APPLY: What was the immediate benefit of Katya’s redecoration of her space? How do you think she should
handle the teasing from her parents and siblings? What do you think the specific choices she made said about her
new identity? What ways do you try to make your space represent who you are as a person?
Olfactics
Although we may only lightly touch on the topic of scent in Chapter 11, it is important to
highlight a rarely discussed nonverbal code. Olfactics is the nonverbal code focusing on the
sense of smell, and the ways that we send messages using scent—both on our bodies and in our
environment. Craig used to be teased about his body odor as a preteen, and later his overuse of
body spray as a high schooler. Now, Craig showers every morning and uses expensive body
washes and colognes to ensure that he smells fresh and clean throughout the day. Jonathan, on
the other hand, is obsessed with the ambient smells in his environment. He wants to make sure
that his home smells clean and welcoming during an upcoming dinner party event, so he heats up
vanilla extract in the oven and curates a variety of air fresheners and diffusers throughout the
house so that each room has a signature scent.
Chronemics
Interestingly, our use of time can also send a definite message, even if we are unintentional in the
ways that we deal with time. This use of time will be discussed further in Chapter 11. The
nonverbal code d…
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