‘‘Did You Come?’’ A Qualitative Exploration of Gender Differences in Beliefs,
Experiences, and Concerns Regarding Female Orgasm Occurrence During

Heterosexual Sexual Interactions

Claire M. A. Salisbury
Department of Psychology, Western University

William A. Fisher
Department of Psychology and Department of Obstetrics and Gynaecology,

Western University

This study explored gender differences in young adult heterosexual men’s and women’s
experiences, beliefs, and concerns regarding the occurrence or nonoccurrence of orgasm
during sexual interactions, with emphasis on the absence of female orgasm during intercourse.
Qualitative reports were obtained from five female focus groups (N ¼ 24, M age ¼ 19.08) and
five male focus groups (N ¼ 21, M age ¼ 19.29), involving three to five participants per group.
Transcripts of the discussions were analyzed for emerging themes across focus group discus-
sions. Results indicated that, for both male and female participants, the most common concern
regarding lack of female orgasm in a partnered context focused on the negative impact this
might have on the male partner’s ego. Male and female participants also agreed that men have
the physical responsibility to stimulate their female partner to orgasm, while women have the
psychological responsibility of being mentally prepared to experience the orgasm. Men and
women tended to maintain different beliefs, however, regarding clitoral stimulation during
intercourse, as well as the importance of female orgasm for a woman’s sexual satisfaction
in a partnered context. Findings suggest foci for sexual education.

Introduction

Men and women share similar subjective sensations
of orgasm (Vance & Wagner, 1976), are able to mastur-
bate to orgasm within a similar time frame (Hite, 1976,
1982; Kinsey, Pomeroy, Martin, & Gebhard, 1953), and
share similar orgasm consistency rates via masturbation
(Laumann, Gagnon, Michael, & Michaels, 1994;
Salisbury, 2010; Wade, Kremer, & Brown, 2005). A gen-
der difference exists, however, in regard to the frequency
of orgasm experienced by men and women during sexual
interactions; men tend to experience orgasm more
consistently than do women during sexual acts with a
partner (Laumann et al., 1994). The largest discrepancy
when comparing men’s and women’s orgasm frequency
is found during the sexual act of penile-vaginal inter-
course. While the majority (over 90%) of men indicate
they usually or always orgasm during heterosexual inter-
course (Hite, 1982; Salisbury, 2010; Wade et al., 2005),

the majority (up to 70%) of women indicate they usually
do not orgasm during intercourse (Dawood, Kirk,
Bailey, Andrews, & Martin, 2005; Hite, 1976; Lloyd,
2005; Salisbury, 2010; Wade et al., 2005). Such a gender
difference in orgasm occurrence may influence men’s
and women’s perceptions, concerns, and assumptions
about the other sex’s experiences, in relation to their
own and their partner’s orgasm.

The current qualitative research focused on gender
differences in the experiences, beliefs, and concerns sur-
rounding lack of orgasm in partnered sexual interactions
within a young adult, heterosexual, nonclinical popu-
lation. Given that women are more likely than men to
experience infrequent orgasm during sexual interactions,
special attention was directed toward men’s and
women’s experiences, beliefs, and concerns surrounding
lack of female orgasm. Furthermore, because female
orgasm is least likely to occur during vaginal-penile
intercourse in comparison to manual or oral genital
stimulation (Fisher, 1973; Hite, 1976; Kinsey et al.,
1953; Laumann et al., 1994; Wade et al., 2005), and
because intercourse is the most commonly reported
behavior among men’s and women’s most recent sexual
events (in comparison to oral sex, anal sex, and

Correspondence should be addressed to Claire M. A. Salisbury,

Department of Psychology, Western University, Westminster Hall,

361 Windermere Road, London, Ontario N6A 3K7, Canada. E-mail:

[email protected]

JOURNAL OF SEX RESEARCH, 51(6), 616–631, 2014

Copyright # The Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality

ISSN: 0022-4499 print=1559-8519 online

DOI: 10.1080/00224499.2013.838934

partnered masturbation; see Herbenick et al., 2010;
Laumann et al., 1994), concerns surrounding lack of
female orgasm during intercourse (i.e., coital orgasm)
are highlighted.

Throughout this article, the term coital orgasm is
used to refer to orgasms that occur during penile-
vaginal intercourse as opposed to other sexual acts.
Although we do not argue that orgasms experienced
during intercourse are more important than, or inher-
ently different from, orgasms experienced during
other sexual acts, we acknowledge the debate within
the literature surrounding the proposed psychologi-
cal and physiological benefits of female coital orgasm
and encourage readers to refer to relevant research
and critiques (e.g., see Brody, 2010; Levin, 2011; Prause,
2011).

Importance of Studying Orgasm in a Young Adult

Population

A variety of factors may contribute to difficulties in
sexual functioning experienced by young men and
women, including inadequate sexual education (Byers
et al., 2003; Santelli et al., 2006), limited skills in sexual
communication (Abel & Fitzgerald, 2006; Halpern-
Felsher, Kropp, Boyer, Tschann, & Ellen, 2004), and a
shorter history of sexual experiences on which to draw,
in comparison to older adults. As such, young adults
may be expected to report sexual difficulties, such as
infrequent orgasm, as a normative part of their trajectory
of learning to be sexual (O’Sullivan & Majerovich, 2008).
For example, researchers from the Canadian Contracep-
tion Study (Boroditsky, Fisher, & Bridges, 1999), ques-
tioning 1,599 women about sexual and reproductive
health issues, found that orgasm occurrence was signifi-
cantly less common among younger women than older
women of reproductive age, regardless of marital status.
Such a finding is consistent with results from Laumann
and colleagues (1994), in which young adult women
and men (ages 18 to 24) reported significantly lower
orgasm consistency across various partnered sexual
activities in comparison to older adults. Given that
orgasm is least likely to occur in younger individuals,
and that sexual experiences in both adolescence and
young adulthood may be the foundation upon which
the sexual lives of adults are based (Bickham et al.,
2007; Else-Quest, Hyde, & DeLamater, 2005), it is
important that researchers gain a better understanding
of the experiences and perceptions associated with the
lack of orgasm in a younger population.

Clitoral Stimulation and Female Orgasm

Clitoral stimulation has been found to be the primary
source of sensory input for triggering female orgasm;
even during vaginal-penile intercourse alone there is
usually some form of clitoral stimulation, either direct

or indirect (Darling, Davidson, & Cox, 1991; Hite,
1976; Masters & Johnson, 1966). Thus, sexual activities
aimed at direct clitoral stimulation have been suggested
as the most likely to maximize orgasm occurrence in
women (e.g., Griffit & Hatfield, 1985). The frequency
of female orgasm across sexual acts steadily decreases
as one considers orgasm attained through masturbation
(with, on average, the greatest amount of clitoral
stimulation), partner manual stimulation, oral stimu-
lation, and, finally, vaginal-penile intercourse (with, on
average, the least amount of clitoral stimulation;
Fisher, 1973; Fugl-Meyer, Oberg, Lundberg, Lewin, &
Fugl-Meyer, 2006; Hite, 1976; Kinsey et al., 1953;
Laumann et al., 1994; Wade et al., 2005). One can ques-
tion whether young men and women are aware of the
importance of the clitoris in triggering female orgasm,
or are knowledgeable with regard to female orgasm in
general. Wade and colleagues (2005) surveyed more than
800 undergraduate men and women (M age 19 years)
and found that women were more knowledgeable than
men about the role of the clitoris in the occurrence of
female orgasm during intercourse. Interestingly, female
knowledge of the clitoris correlated significantly with
the frequency of female orgasm during masturbation
(i.e., more clitoral knowledge was associated with
greater orgasm consistency during masturbation) but
not during intercourse. Thus, female knowledge alone
was not useful in maximizing female coital orgasm
occurrence. Even if women are knowledgeable as to
the best way to attain an orgasm, it appears that
there is something about being in a partnered sexual
interaction that impedes the chances of female orgasm
occurrence.

Inaccurate Male Assumptions and Lack of

Communication

Wade and colleagues (2005) reported that many men
are guided by inaccurate working assumptions with
regard to the clitoris and the female orgasm. More than
37% of men were incorrect in assuming that ‘‘the clitoris
is directly stimulated by (penis-vagina) intercourse,’’
and more than 32% of men were incorrect in assuming
that ‘‘most women will have an orgasm from (penis-
vagina) intercourse’’ (p. 127). In addition to these
inaccurate assumptions, many men have difficulty iden-
tifying whether a woman has had an orgasm (Hite, 1982;
Laumann et al., 1994; Roberts, Kippax, Waldby, &
Crawford, 1995). Although women’s estimates of how
often their male partners experience orgasm during sex
are quite similar to men’s reports of their own orgasm
frequency, gross overestimation is common when men
are asked the same question about their female partners
(Laumann et al., 1994, p. 115; see also Roberts et al.,
1995).

Overall, there exists a divide between the genders in
regard to knowledge surrounding female orgasm, and

FEMALE ORGASM IN HETEROSEXUAL SEXUAL INTERACTIONS

617

women do not seem to be sharing their knowledge with
men. Although communication within couples in
regard to sexual topics has been associated with both
relationship and sexual satisfaction (Byers &
Demmons, 1999; MacNeil & Byers, 2005), such com-
munication is not common (Byers & Demmons, 1999;
MacNeil & Byers, 1997), especially in couples who
experience orgasmic difficulty (Kelly, Strassberg, &
Turner, 2004). As such, many men and women may
rely on working assumptions to infer a partner’s sexual
experiences. Unfortunately, young adult men and
women are generally not very accurate in regard to
such assumptions (Miller & Byers, 2004; Simms &
Byers, 2009).

Importance of Orgasm for Men’s and Women’s Sexual

Satisfaction

Experiencing one’s own orgasm in a sexual encounter
appears to be somewhat more important for men in
comparison to women. For instance, Meston and Buss
(2007) reported that their male and female participants
ranked orgasm as the 9th and 14th most important rea-
sons for having sex, respectively. Men are also more
likely than women to endorse orgasm as one of their
primary objects of sexual desire (Mark, Fortenberry,
Herbenick, Sanders, & Reece, 2012) and as their
goal for having intercourse (Salisbury, 2010). Further-
more, after conducting 41 semi-structured interviews,
McClelland (2011) found that all of her male parti-
cipants, but none of her female participants, reported
that ‘‘having an orgasm was an important benchmark
for determining sexual satisfaction’’ (p. 311). While
these studies demonstrate that orgasm during sexual
interaction is relatively less important for women than
it is for men, there is currently a lack of agreement in
regard to exactly how important orgasm is for a
woman’s sexual satisfaction.

Some research has demonstrated that infrequent
female orgasm is not associated with decreased sexual
or relationship satisfaction or with decreased pleasure
derived from intercourse for women (Fisher, 1973; Hite,
1976; Wallin, 1960; Waterman & Chiauzzi, 1982).
An in-depth interview study by Nicolson and Burr
(2003) found that several female respondents reported
sexual pleasure was much broader than orgasm during
a sexual encounter, and sensuality and physical affection
were equally, or even more, satisfying than orgasm per
se for these women. On the other hand, a few studies
have demonstrated that orgasm is important for a
woman’s sexual satisfaction (e.g., Fugl-Meyer et al.,
2006; Kelly et al., 2004; Sigusch & Schmidt, 1971).
Attempting to understand such discrepancies in the
literature as to the importance of orgasm for women,
Laan and Rellini (2011) determined that women who
found it easier to orgasm were also more likely to
regard orgasm as important. Such a finding led these

researchers to conclude that ‘‘orgasms are important
for women’s sexual satisfaction, and that placing less
importance on orgasms is related to women’s lesser
consistency of orgasm during partnered sexual activity
and not to orgasms being less important per se’’
(p. 331).

Concern About Lack of Female Orgasm

While the importance of orgasm for women in
relation to their sexual satisfaction has varied across pre-
vious studies, the fact remains that infrequent orgasm
occurrence poses a potential challenge for a large pro-
portion of women. The majority of women are not able
to reliably experience orgasm during sexual activity with
a partner, and around 10% are never able to experience
orgasm in any situation (Dawood et al., 2005; Lloyd,
2005). Furthermore, orgasmic difficulties are the first
or second most frequently reported sexual concern by
women in both nonclinical samples and those seeking
sex therapy (Fugl-Meyer & Sjoren Fugl-Meyer, 1999;
Laumann et al., 1994; Meston, Hull, Levin, & Sipski,
2007; Meston, Levin, Sipski, Hull, & Heiman, 2004;
Sidi, Puteh, Abdullah, & Midin, 2007; Spector &
Carey, 1990). The specific content of such concerns,
however, has not been thoroughly addressed in previous
studies.

Why may women be concerned about their lack of
orgasm in partnered sexual interactions, especially
given findings that seem to show orgasm may not be
necessary for women’s sexual satisfaction? Some clues
may come from Nicolson and Burr’s (2003) in-depth
interviews with 33 women, aged 19 to 60 years
(M age 28 years). These investigators reported that
these women ‘‘seemed less concerned with achieving
orgasm through heterosexual intercourse for themsel-
ves . . . there was, however, evidence of a strong desire
to experience orgasm in this way for the sake of their
male partners’’ (p. 1735, emphasis added). This finding
seems to suggest that female concerns regarding lack of
personal orgasm in a sexual encounter may focus on
the male partner and not on the self. Whether or not
such findings hold true in a sample limited to young
adults coming of age sexually is unclear. Furthermore,
Nicolson and Burr’s (2003) study did not shed light on
men’s concerns associated with lack of their female
partner’s orgasm.

Current Study

Given substantial gender differences in the frequency
of orgasm occurrence during sexual interactions, the
lack of sexual communication that characterizes many
couples, and an apparent reliance on assumptions
about a partner’s sexual experiences and preferences, it
is possible that other gender differences exist in regard
to the concerns, thoughts, and feelings men and women

SALISBURY AND FISHER

618

have regarding their own and their partner’s orgasm.
The purpose of the current study was to qualitatively
explore gender differences in the experiences, beliefs,
and concerns regarding the occurrence and nonoccur-
rence of orgasm during heterosexual sexual interactions,
with a particular emphasis on absence of female orgasm
during intercourse. We examined this issue among
young adult, heterosexually active, male and female
university students who were at an age of emerging
sexuality and who report the lowest orgasm consistency
in comparison to older age groups (Boroditsky et al.,
1999; Laumann et al., 1994).

Method

Participants

A total of 24 undergraduate women from an Ontario
university participated in female focus group discus-
sions. Participants’ ages ranged from 18 to 22 years
(M ¼ 19.08, SD ¼ 1.38), and 21 (87.50%) identified as
Caucasian, one (4.17%) as South East Asian, one
(4.17%) as Korean, and one (4.17%) as Chinese. In
all, 19 (79.17%) were dating one person exclusively, four
(16.67%) were dating, but not exclusively, and one
(4.17%) was not dating anyone. All but one female par-
ticipant had experienced sexual intercourse. Of those
who had experienced intercourse, the mean number of
lifetime intercourse partners was 2.74 (SD ¼ 2.18, range
1 to 9), and the mean age at first intercourse experience
was 17.08 years (SD ¼ 1.56, range 15 to 22). Only one
(4.17%) female participant reported never having
experienced orgasm. Among men, 21 undergraduate
men from the same university participated in male focus
group discussions. Ages ranged from 18 to 21 years
(M ¼ 19.29, SD ¼ 1.27), and 17 (80.95%) participants
identified as Caucasian, one (4.76%) as Korean,
one (4.76%) as Black, and two (9.52%) as ‘‘Other.’’
Thirteen (61.90%) were not dating anyone at the time,
five (23.81%) were dating one person exclusively, two
(9.52%) were dating but not exclusively, and one
(4.76%) was married. All male participants had experi-
enced sexual intercourse, reporting a mean age at first
intercourse experience of 16.24 years (SD ¼ 1.30, range
13 to 18), and a mean number of lifetime intercourse
partners of 6.43 (SD ¼ 6.06, range 2 to 27). All male
participants reported having experienced orgasm. Parti-
cipants were recruited through an undergraduate psy-
chology research pool and an undergraduate human
sexuality course. Those from the research pool received
two research credits for participation and those from the
sexuality course received neither credits nor monetary
compensation. Participation was limited to those who
had been heterosexually active (i.e., had at least one sex-
ual interaction with a person of the other sex in their
lifetime).

Measures

Demographic and Sexual Experience Questionnaire.
A Demographic and Sexual Experience Questionnaire,
assessing participants’ demographic information and
sexual experience, was developed for this study.

Focus group guides. Female and male focus group
discussion guides were developed for this study (see
Appendix). Overall, 32 specific questions were asked.
The female focus group guide was divided into sections
concerning women’s sexuality, orgasm experience, lack
of orgasm, the male partner, communication, faking
orgasms, masturbation, and sex toys. The male focus
group guide was divided into sections concerning men’s
sexuality, male and female orgasm, communication,
faking orgasm, clitoral stimulation, and sex toys.
Although the majority of questions regarding orgasm
occurrence did not specify a particular sexual context,
a few questions were focused particularly on sexual
intercourse for reasons previously discussed.

Procedure

Five female focus groups were conducted with four to
five participants in each group. Focus group discussions
were facilitated by the female author and, for two
groups, with the assistance of a female graduate student.
Five male focus groups were conducted with three to
five participants in each group. Male focus group discus-
sions were facilitated by the female author and a male
graduate student. Given the potentially sensitive nature
of the focus group discussions, we thought it beneficial
to have a male discussion leader present for the male
focus groups, taking the main role of presenting the
questions to the participants. Our hope was that a male
focus group leader would facilitate open and honest
discussion of how men felt.

Prior to focus group discussion, each participant
signed an informed consent sheet after reading a study
information document, which included the instruction,
‘‘You do not need to answer any questions you do not
feel comfortable answering and you can leave the
discussion at any time’’ (although all questions were
answered by each participant and no one left the
discussion). Each participant also filled out the paper-
and-pencil Demographic and Sexual Experience Ques-
tionnaire. It was clearly explained to participants that
diverse responses to focus group questions were accept-
able and consensus was not necessary, as there were no
right or wrong answers. Participants were asked to
respect the request not to disclose anything said in the
discussion and not to provide any identifying infor-
mation during the discussion. While a considerable
number of questions were posed, a consistent flow of
discussion was maintained across all groups, with the
aim of generating the experience of an informal

FEMALE ORGASM IN HETEROSEXUAL SEXUAL INTERACTIONS

619

conversation among attendees. On occasion, discussion
naturally led to addressing a question out of order in
relation to the focus group guide. When this occurred,
after the question was discussed, the focus group leader
resumed addressing the remaining questions in
sequence. To gather more information regarding beliefs
and experiences surrounding lack of female orgasm,
focus group leaders would sometimes pose follow-up
inquiries (not listed in the focus group guide) specifically
regarding orgasm in the context of sexual intercourse.
Discussions lasted between 60 to 90 minutes and, with
permission granted from all participants, the discussions
were audio recorded in order to identify emerging
themes at a later time. Once the group discussions were
complete, all participants were debriefed, given an
opportunity to ask questions, and provided with refer-
ences concerning sexual function.

Focus groups were limited to a maximum of five part-
icipants so that each person would have as much time as
desired to respond, while at the same allowing discus-
sions to conclude within a reasonable time frame, reduc-
ing the chance of participant fatigue and disinterest. The
use of fewer participants in some groups was due to the
limited availability of participants to meet at the same
time and location. A smaller number of focus group
participants did not appear to hamper discussion and
in fact allowed more time for richer descriptions of
participants’ experiences. All study procedures were
approved by the university’s research ethics board.

Data Analysis

Female and male focus group data were coded and
analyzed separately, implementing a phenomenological
approach (Moustakas, 1994) to investigate the subjec-
tive experiences of male and female participants regard-
ing orgasm occurrence in partnered sexual interactions.
Each focus group discussion was transcribed verbatim,
and, separately for the female and male focus groups,
all responses to each focus group question were grouped
together. Next, the transcriptions were broken down
into three equal sections to facilitate coding, and each
section was reviewed independently by the lead author
and one other coder to identify predominant and recur-
ring themes, both within each question and across ques-
tions. Each coder had access to recordings of the
discussions to confirm interpretation of the transcripts,
if needed. For each question, and independently for each
coder, responses expressing similar ideas were coded
together, and the most common responses for each
question were documented. Finally, two lists of the most
common and recurring themes (for the male and female
focus groups separately) were identified via reference to
coded themes and discussion to consensus between the
coders. Any disparities that arose between coders were
addressed by having the coders reanalyze particular

statements and themes together and then coming to
agreement on the themes represented. Quotations were
selected from transcripts to illustrate identified themes.

Results and Discussion

The themes reported represented the most common
responses elicited within and across male and female
focus groups discussions. Unless stated otherwise, the
themes should not be taken to suggest that every male
or every female participant held such an opinion or
experience. The focus group guide question number to
which participants were responding appears in parenth-
eses after each quotation.

Female Focus Groups

Six themes emerged from analysis of the female focus
group discussions.

Males are responsible for the physical stimulation of
females to orgasm. Women viewed responsibility for
the occurrence of female orgasm as falling on both the
male and female partner but in very different ways.
Men were seen as having the physical responsibility of
properly stimulating the woman to orgasm, whereas
women were seen as having the psychological responsi-
bility to remain in the proper mindset and focus their
attention on the stimulation they were receiving. Thus,
whereas female participants saw men as responsible
for giving the woman an orgasm, they saw women as
responsible for being psychologically ready to receive
the orgasm. Following are some illustrative quotes:

I think [responsibility for female orgasm] it’s more physi-
cal for the guy and emotional for the girl. (Question 17)

I think mostly [female orgasm is] the guy’s responsi-
bility, but if you’re not going to let him make you feel
good, like if you’re going to shut yourself off, then
you’re inhibiting it. (Question 17)

My boyfriend can do the exact same thing twice, and
one night he can [make me orgasm] and the second night
he can do the exact same thing and I might not come. It
depends on your mindset, and if you’re stressed out then
you’re probably not going to. If you think you’re not,
then you’re probably not going to. It’s all in your mind.
You have to relax, and you can’t think about other
stuff . . . . There’s only so much a guy can do, and the
rest of it is up to you and if you’re willing to do it.
(Question 17)

Female orgasm is not necessary for women’s sexual
satisfaction during partnered interactions. Women
viewed female sexual satisfaction as not being dependent
on the occurrence of female orgasm, and instead they
viewed female orgasm as a ‘‘bonus’’ and not the goal,

SALISBURY AND FISHER

620

or even a goal, of sexual interactions (particularly
intercourse), as the following quotes demonstrate:

I don’t think it’s important to have an orgasm [during
intercourse] every time since it’s difficult, and I don’t
think that the act of sex is to have an orgasm. It’s not
the goal. The goal of sex is to be intimate with your part-
ner and show them you care and that you love them, and
if you have an orgasm that’s just beneficiary [sic].
(Question 7)

It doesn’t really bother me [if I don’t orgasm] . . . . I think
it’s the act of pleasuring each other and being able
to satisfy the other person [that’s more important].
(Question 11)

[Female orgasm during intercourse] is not important,
but it is a plus. As long as the woman enjoys herself,
why is an orgasm important? The whole point is to have
a good time. An orgasm would just be icing on the cake.
(Question 7)

If the partner truly tried to please you and sexual
activity was still pleasurable, then personally [not having
an orgasm] would not bother me as much. (Question 11)

I don’t think [female orgasm during intercourse is]
important, but I think she should feel satisfied. Because
there are times when I haven’t had an orgasm but I’ve
still been satisfied. (Question 7)

Female orgasm is more important for the male partner
than the female partner. Women expressed the view
that the importance of female orgasm rested not with
increasing the female’s sexual satisfaction and physical
pleasure but, rather, paradoxically rested with a concern
for the male partner’s feelings and perceptions. Specifi-
cally, women’s concerns about lack of female orgasm
centered on concern about the male partner’s ego and
sense of himself as a good or competent lover in
response to not being able to ‘‘give’’ her an orgasm, as
the following quotes illustrate:

She is most concerned about her partner feeling inad-
equate [if she doesn’t orgasm]. Like, he didn’t do a good
job, and it hurts his self-esteem. And the annoying ques-
tion, ‘‘Did you finish?’’ as if sex is now goal oriented
instead of enjoyed. (Question 13)

I think the guy almost feels more satisfied [than his part-
ner] half the time when you orgasm. They feel like the
hero or something . . . . Their ego is so big when they
know that they have accomplished [the female orgasm],
so I almost feel that it’s more satisfying for them than it
is for you. (Question 13)

It’s not like I have to [orgasm] for the man, but I feel bad
when I’m really stressed and just can’t really get into it—
I shouldn’t have started having sex in the first place in
that situation. He’s trying really hard, but you’re just
like, I feel bad because he’d be disappointed if I didn’t
[orgasm]. (Question 13)

If you’ve been working on it for a long time and
don’t [have an orgasm], I’d be concerned with what
he’s thinking and if he’s coming down on himself.
(Question 13)

Concern for the male partner’s feelings and …